May 07, 2008
*dar dar walks in and gave me a kiss*Yeah... that's my dear, who is about to go to sleep at this time of the night.
Anyway, I finally completed my assignment and all set to hand it in tomorrow and prepare working on the next one. Life is shitty as hell, and work never ends. Pardon me for my pessimism because optimism can never help in any situation at all. Speaking about being optimistic, it's a form of mind exercise I suppose - training your mind to stop expecting the worse - which is rather pervasive.
One may say that I have been a pessimist as my entries are now becoming more pessimistic than ever. The bad news is: It is going to be like this and there's more to come. People just refuse to be realistic and always think that having faith is so important in order to prevent oneself from experiencing depression and other anxieties. The truth is that even in optimism, there is a chance of disappointment, and where the amount of optimism is involved, this makes way for the prevention of self-preparation. Preparation for what? Preparation for the worse to come.
I used to be optimistic, but I know that I must be pessimistic as well. Subsequently, I refused to accept either polarities and start thinking that everything happens no matter how you protest or desire. Being optimistic gives you hope for the future, but leaves you a chance of disappointment. Being pessimistic gives you caution and skepticism, but something needs to be done in this process. So I conclude that nothing is worth being pessimistic or optimistic about. Things just happen either by coincidence (mere chance) or by sheer selection (desired force).
Things do not happen for a reason. It is for a reason that we live, but whether the reason is a good one, a valid one, a bad one, or a meaningful one, leaves us to our own imagination and creation. Similarly, if things happen for a reason, then that reason is something which you create out of your own context. For example: Two men had cancer at the same time. One of the two may think that the reason was because he has done something wrong, thus deserving such 'punishment' as a reason to get by. The other may think that the reason is because of some greater purpose that he would be facing in future, thus such experience would help prepare him for the greater purpose in the future. Both men had different views of why things happen. Both men thought that things happened for a reason. Both men had each created meaning for himself and lived according to what he believed. Therefore, to say that life has a purpose is an illusory statement. It is less than a purpose.
I still have difficulty grasping the concept of praying to God as some form of 'reality' to having certain needs answered via prayer. How long do we wait for our personal needs to be met after praying? Sometimes, it takes less than an hour. Sometimes, it takes decades. Now, suppose you prayed that your grandfather will pull through in the process of being warded in the hospital for some problems that require surgery. If it worked out for you that your grandfather survives, people would say God is great. If it didn't work out and he died, people would say that grandpa's gone to heaven and he's now up there "smiling down on us"...
Firstly, why is it "up there"? Why can't it be "down there" "screaming up at us"? Because it appears that many people refuse to accept the fact that their relatives might be in hell, assuming that there is one.
Secondly, not all prayers are answered because things just happen by chance, and within these coincidences, the individuals involved were making all the decisions. Whether or not these decisions came from God is debatable... but we can be sure that decision making involves a human being, and only a human being.
Thirdly, you can try praying to any object say.. a cup. Everyday, you pray to a cup that you would be blessed with a sum of money to do your scholarship, which cost somewhere around $2000 for instance (just for the sake of argument). There are perhaps a few scenerios which would take place after your prayers:
#1 - In a few weeks, your distant relative came knocking at your door and told you that he or she had a weird dream that you needed help and subsequently passed $2000 to you. Does this show that the cup has magical powers? Does this show that the cup has the ability to answer your prayer? Is this cup a God? If it is God, then everyone should worship cups. If praying to a printer would get another person the same result in a few weeks or so, then everyone should worship and pray to the printer and to the cup. If this is so, then which God is the real God? And which object answers your prayers? The cup? The printer? The lap-top? The toilet seat? God? Allah? If fifty percent of the time, you get your prayers answered just by praying to each of the above mentioned objects, isn't it quaint enough to know that there is not a single difference whether a prayer is made or not made.
#2 - In a few weeks, your money has not arrived. Everyone does their business as usual. You gained no financial blessings and your prayers practically were not answered. Perhaps, give it another few months and see what happens. Nothing happens. Well, what are you going to do? Work hard of course! Or find a job! But if your salary did not increase, it has nothing to do with the celestial activities "up there", but there are many factors to look into. Definitely, "celestial ativities" such as the claim that God, the Invisible Hand, provided aid to the one who prayed is not a satisfying answer at all. And even if your employer gives you the check of your monthly salary, don't even think that the cup has blessed you or God has blessed you, because you reap what you sow. In other words, when you work, you stand a chance of getting paid. This is reality. Employer pays you. God doesn't. If you think God pays you then that's your problem, you probably need a psychologist. Therefore, the cup has no effect, and prayer has no effect at all. Pray to God and the same thing still happens (50% answered prayers & 50% unanswered prayers). Maybe you will disagree, because answered prayers happen to you all the time, you lucky bastard!
#3 - In a few weeks, you received a tip from someone who was pleased at your customer service. That tip cost quite a lot and you realised someone has just tiped you $100. That's not the total sum of money you had prayed and asked for. The cup! What's the matter cup? Can't I get everything all at once? Perhaps, I should wait... And many believers would say that God would give three answers whenever you pray: Yes, No, and Wait. Well, maybe, in this situation, you should wait. So you waited and nothing happens. Perhaps the cup lost its power. So you prayed to the toilet seat for some financial blessings, and suppose you get another tip of $150 from another satisfied customer and similarly, nothing eventful happen after that. Finally, all tired, you decide to pray to God and you receive $500 year-end bonus for your hard work. Still doesn't add up... what do you do? Pray to another object say... a pack of condoms, believing by faith that you would be financially blessed. But the amount never add up each time you prayed and waited... seems like forever. Saving those money? Those are not huge sum of money as a person easily lives up to 500 dollars a day depending on your nationality. To wait for prayers to be answered is a pain in the ass. To work for what you desire is the key to getting what you want. Nothing fails like prayer.
It is so ironic that sometimes, when people prayed for safety, they got killed by accident somewhere, somehow. This is not surprising. There are many excuses for such things that happen to people who prayed for safety and got killed accidentally:
"Well, it must have been God's plan."
"Well, he asked for it. I think God isn't please with him."
"He's a sinful man who doesn't change his ways."
The list of excuses can go on... and people will start justiying in the name of God why such and such happened. It is all so man-made and politically superficial. I think this is lame. I think this is quaint. And I think this is the reason why God is made by man.
Wouldn't it be easy enough for people to just believe in themselves, even if we have limits? We are slave to our consciousness. Let it be that way then. Because if we deny reality by forming images in our minds about how heaven should be like, how hell should be like, and most importantly, how God should be like, then we would never wake up to the full harsh reality in that we humans are nothing but a huge container of chemical reactions. Perhaps, the cold reality of this world makes us fearful that we turn our attention to something we deeply wish that could last for eternity - something powerful, positive, and just. But faith is just one matter, and where faith is concerned, it is believing positively in something which demands no evidence, but yet holds a chance of mistakings. The failure of optimism, be it in religion, or in secular beliefs, is the evidence that we should put aside our polarised minds and think rationally.
