September 02, 2007
I used to think that moral philosophy is helpful in order to bring about changes within oneself. Indeed, it does change a person. But change is a relative concept we all have to deal with. The change within us is a two-tailed measurement, and we either decide upon the positive or negative change that we ourselves would in turn experience. It is only a matter of choice. But on what principles should we build upon in order to make a positive change in our lives, thereby bringing forth the impact we have on ourselves and others? Making decisions with the various choices that we have is not enough. The source that guides our choices and decision making should be something greater. It should be based upon our principles and life values, as well as the sources that drives these principles and values.
As for that, I shall leave the decision to the readers here. I've made my choice to let God be the centre of all principles and morality. It doesn't matter whether He exists, but what the bible implicates in terms of how we should live our lives, is something which I would embrace in my values as a human being. With this, I shall clarify that I am not being religious in any ways. I see moral values and principles as an important ingredient in living a fruitful life, more than just following laws, rituals, routines, and blindly believing in something without any reasons in doing so. In all things, there must be a reason, no matter how unclear or indescribable those reasons are. Love is the reason why relationships exist. Human nature and goodness is the reason for the existence of love. Our biological make-up is the reason for our human nature and goodness. The way we are is the reason for how we behave. But let's not touch on that so much for in reason, there are different perspectives.
Time is short, and so is life. I have been rather busy these days and failed to slow down and give a thought about my own life. The reason for me being stressed out is no different from any others who are living in the same planet as I am. We are all striving to excel, to make money, to make the best out of the opportunities that we can ever come across. Some of us turned into workaholics; some turned into maniacs; while others ended up in the nearby asylums. Why are we doing this? Do we have others to blame? Do we have the government to blame? Or do we have our own schedules to blame? We have no one to blame except ourselves. If only we can take one step at a time, by slowing down our pace, and examining our lives, it would do wonders later on. The more we rush things, the more we would become blinded to the most precious things that we have around us. In turn, we might take them for granted and lose what we deemed precious in our everyday lives.
I felt a lack of one moment. A lack of love and support, and because of this, I grew desperate. I was desperate not for women, but for money. I became money-minded, and a fervent money worshiper. I grew so impatient at one point in my life that I felt everything has got to do with money-making in order to lead a secure and fruitful life altogether. I knew all along that something was amiss... but then little did I know, I was desperate for the wrong things. I made money my choice, and career and ambitions as my ultimate goal in life... and I felt like a total workaholic when I embark on my life project. Even though I know that I'm attached to a beautiful girl of my dreams, my ambitions took me over and had a control over my life. In fact, it should be the other way round, where I should control my ambitions as well as my social lifestyle. The danger of busyness has overwhelmed me with worries, stresses, inner sorrows, constant desire for something of lesser priority. It has got a hold on me, when I should have gotten it in my very own control myself.
Then tonight, I realised that someone loves me a lot, and is willing to support me in everything I do. Time and time again, I asked myself if this was true. I want to start being trusting again. But at the same time, I want to learn from past mistakes. I've been hurt several times in a relationship, when I gave my all, and all I received was nothing but a sad and permanent separation. I'm sick and tired of going through the cycle of having to put up with all these nonsense. However, love has a price to pay. It is a sacrifice of oneself to another. I'm willing to give myself another chance to love. Sometimes, love is a risky journey to embark on, because we are all hurt before. Nonetheless, it is always Hope and Faith that comes together with Love - that's what kept me going. That's what kept me strong. And that's what gave me the courage to love someone all over again. It is always great to have someone (a significant other) whom you truly love in your life to give you support and encouragement along the way, as you pursue your dreams and visions. That's something I've been looking for in my entire life. And with this, I've found the girl whom I want to spend my life with. Thank You, Lord.
Also, after some thoughts to my priorities, I came to a conclusion that my partner will be of higher priority than my dreams and visions. Some of you might disagree, but I have my reasons. Dreams and visions will come to pass, as it is only a matter of time. It doesn't matter how long you take to get to your goal, it will happen once a focus is set upon it. But it is very different when it comes to the person you love in your life. Quality time plays a huge role in developing a relationship. The amount of other investments you sowed into a relationship will also determine its strength and durability. It takes commitment to do so, for without it, there will be no desired results. I am willing to postpone my dreams and visions in order to be with the person I love in my life. Notice that I mention the word "postpone". I do not mean giving up my goal for the girl I love most. It's just that I give more priority to the people I love - her, my family, and my closer friends - more than my goal.
To my dreams and visions,
I know that you mean a lot to me, but my darling means much more than than you. It doesn't matter how long I would take to get to you, but I would still get there nonetheless. You will always be remembered and at the end of my life, you shall be the testimony I'd bring towards the One who sent me into this world.
To my darling,
The day I found you is the the day I knew that it would be a fruitful beginning of our lives together. No matter how difficult things would become, we would be there for each other. And know that I would support you in your ambitions as well. Come what may, I'll love you, with my heart, mind and if you like, soul. I only have one person to thank, and that is God. You, darling, have shown me what love is. Despite the days I backslided, you chose to stay with me throughout those days of instability and loved me even more than what I truly deserved. Indeed, I found the love of God in you. And that is good enough for me to understand the essence of love.
There is nothing more important than being there for somebody (it could be anybody). Maybe life has been too busy for all of us, that we fail to cherish what has been the dearest to us all. It is the constant competition that sets us up for a greater disappointment. In order to change the world, we must change ourselves and also, the way we treat those who are close to us. Maybe busyness has blind-folded us to the needs of others, who are struggling to make ends meet.
In all things that we do, it is essential to check upon our own principles and values, as well as our own priority.
How do you want to live your life? What would you invest on with the time you have in hand? Ultimately, your time, is your life. Do you want to spend your time solely on career development, success, higher education, intellectual pursuits, or attaining glorious fame, while neglecting family and love ones? Or do you want to waste your time anyway? The choice is yours.
In the end, how would you want others to remember you? Would they remember you as someone who did absolutely nothing, and contributed nothing? Would they remember you as someone who would take relationships for granted just to achieve the ambitions of your heart? Would they remember you as a person who has absolutely no visions, no dreams, and living a life aimlessly and without any sole purpose in mind? Or would they remember you as someone who has made a difference in the lives of many, and someone who has achieved a great deal of success in dealing with both work and relationships?
It is not the number of commitments or responsibilities one has that makes a successful person. It all begins with how one manages them. In all things, there should be a balance, and balance is the key to a successful life.
