Initial: Frederick
Profession: Psychology Undergraduate
Birthday: days left
Height: 1.76m
Weight: 63kg
Blood Type: A+
Waist size: 29-30 inches
Hobbies: Blogging; Reading; Songs & Movies; Chill out
Talent: Writing; Acting; Singing; Accents
Favourite Food:
Italian Food;
Kimchi Chigae;
Roti Prata
Most Disliked Food: Anything crustacean - due to allergy
Favourite Songs to Sing to: For You (self-composed) & The Promise
Favourite Body Parts: Nose; Jaws
Schools: Pei Chun Public School (1989 - 1995); Chong Boon Secondary School (1996 - 1999); Nanyang Polytechnic (2000 - 2003); Monash University (2006 - )
Current Pursuit: Bachelor of Behavioural Science
Research Interest: Evolutionary Psychology
Other Interests: Evolution; Genetics
Contact:
frederikan@live.co.uk
September 06, 2007
Change.
It is the only thing constant in life (François de la Rochefoucauld, 1613 - 1680). It happens everywhere, every single time, and to everyone. But it is not judged by an absolute measure of good and bad; positive and negative; or more and less. For such superficial judgments are meant for those who do not understand the depth of change and its impact that awakens the greatness of a man.
Change is not an enigmatic terminology, nor is it a profound vocabulary with deep meanings too hard for a layman to grasp. It looks simple as a word itself, but yet, it takes a great deal of time for one to understand its consequences, causes and effects, as well as its significance. It is a common planet-wide phenomena, which every sane person usually take for granted. In addition, it is rather unfortunate that such attitude is very commonly found in the areas of relationship.
Many people do not completely realise that relationships are formed on the basis of our moral values and belief system. An individual would unconsciously have a liking for another person after several meetings together, and usually, common interests, goals, and values are the main reasons for relationships to be formed. Any drastic changes to one's self-image, belief system, or moral values, would cause the reaction of another, who is relatively involved in a friendship tie or a relationship.
This portion of understanding is, however, not separable from the essentials of constant communication, faithfulness, trust and loyalty, as well as common altruism. All these aspects are just as important but my focus here is about moral values and belief system that eventually determine a person's relationship with another.
Many of us do not immediately question ourselves, our actions, our choices, or our desires. We do not self-reflect until we commit a common mistake. This is a common consequence for many of us, and I am also guilty of such mistake. But we have to ensure that we do not repeat our mistakes twice. Furthermore, it is not advisable to attribute any responsibility or blame upon any person, situation or yourself. Unfortunately, we immediately seek confrontation with something that bothers us so much whenever we are aggitated or offended by that stimulus. It could be an object or a person, but most of the time, it is usually another person. Sometimes, they could be those we love most, such as a spouse, a friend, or a buddy. Each time we get offended by certain words or actions from a significant other, it is a common tendency to be taken aback and feel rather disturbed. In the process, what we commonly do, is that, we would approach that offender with an interrogative body language and make a scene out of a silence. The last words from such
interrogators were usually as straightforward as this: "Hey, I think you have changed.".
Has she? Have they?
Many of us fail to look at ourselves with critical mindsets, because the ego is the primary source that fill us with dignity and self-pride, deep inside our inner self. As a result, we tend to blame others immediately for what they have done instead of doing some self-reflection in one quiet corner. But has the person REALLY change? Or was it our optic error that points the finger at the opposite direction, where it should have been? It is relatively easy to comment than to take criticisms. But one has to consider looking beyond the issue and examine the fault that lies within one's personality. Have our own personality changed? Was it, in our own individual opinion, for the better or for the worse?
It is usually 'us' who change - in terms of our personality, traits, belief system, moral values, principles, and ideologies - that brings a forceful (though not always welcomed) impact to others who are closer to 'us'. This change changes the way others view 'us' or relate to 'us'. Thus, whenever we notice slight or drastic changes in our social network, self-reflection is often required of 'us'.
If everyone self-reflects before confronting their friend-cum-offenders, every friendship and relationship would have a happy ending. This usually precedes by a simple and humble apology from both sides.
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