September 29, 2007
Alright, here comes the slave - the slave of this blog. Well, not exactly, since I'm almost always happy when blogging my thoughts because I treat it as some form of therapy that would ease my load and cool my steam.
I don't want to be a slave of this blog, neither do I see myself as a boring blogger. I'm sorry for not updating much these days as my exam is around the corner, and just before that, I have to submit three more assignments. I'm going to be really busy in the month of October.. so do bear with me for this period of shits and slogs.
There has been a little mishap lately and both my girlfriend and I were kind of affected by it. However, the situation is improving and I do hope that things could get better as day goes by.
Alright, before I touch on some controversial issues I've thought about lately, I would like to clarify that these are only my thoughts. So please, if any of you religious people wanna sue me, you gotta first think like a rational being.
I do not like the idea that Christians always think that they are right and others, such as the non-believers or doubters, are Satan's incarnates. I refuse to use the term "many" or "most" or "some", since there's no reason for me to quantify the rough statistics of people who literally follow what is written in the Bible that teaches the same thing.
One thing that confuses me is that when Christians pray for God to do a miracle in their lives, and yet depending on medicines, hospitals, doctors, nurses, Science and Health Science, to do the miracle healing for them. Now my question is not whether is there a miracle, but rather the million dollar question is: Is God willing and able to perform that miracle healing.. if He claimed so?
You see, when I was diagnosed with cancer three years ago, I prayed endlessly. I spent my time praying and going for my chemotherapy sessions as well. I prayed for a miracle; an opportunity to be healed forever; and a chance to further my studies there after. Well, I remembered mentioning in my 'yellow-paged' archives that God healed me, made me well, and sent me back to school. But during the process, I was protesting that what I received wasn't good enough. I prayed for immediate recovery after six chemotherapy sessions, instead, I had to go through eight sessions. I prayed for the size of my tumour to be reduced to the size of a bacteria, but instead, it got smaller till about 3cm. Do you call this a miracle; or a flawed miracle; or an imperfect will of God; or is this the work of Medicine and Health Science?
Such torturing process wasn't mentioned in my earlier entries unfortunately, because I was so deluded that everything is the cause of what God is doing. Well, if bad things happen to good people, it must be God trying to make them psychologically stronger and tougher. But what if death or tragedy strikes on anybody right here, right now? Is this the work of God trying to make us stronger by taking away the lives of the people we truly love? Is this the work of God trying to "test our faith" by creating upheavals, chaos, tragedies, nightmares, and other unforeseen and yet grossly detestable circumstances in our lives just to teach us how to live properly? ... as if life itself is not worth living enough as shit happens because of God. Must we, as rational beings, be controlled by a 'spirit' that makes our lives miserable first before we could understand the meaning of it? Or, is this part of our daily imagination and symbolism, that we need a form of 'spiritual guidance' for our own therapeutic purposes?
"Is God willing to prevent evil, but unable? Then he is impotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both willing and able? Whence then is evil?" - Epicurus...but, if he is both unwilling and unable, then why call him God?
I used to pray to some 'goddess of mercy' before my conversion to Christianity eight years ago. I remembered praying for my fever to get well as I was sick to a point when I couldn't be in school for two days or so. My mom still prays to the 'goddess of mercy' placed on the properly-maintained alter in the living room. One day, I asked her what she was praying for, she told me that all she was praying for is that all of us (my dad, my sister, herself, and I) would be safe, protected, and doing well in life. Indeed, this is what many people would ask their god for as this is the main ingredient within a prayer of a desperate soul. I now come to realise that we humans need, affection, love, guidance, assurance, acceptance, and protection. Why so? Because we are living in a world of differences and relativity. Although I do not, as a matter of fact, deny that there are some degrees of absoluteness, there are in fact more shades than just mere black and white. If I (and my family) can be safe and sound at home right now, does it mean that the 'goddess of mercy' my mom so fervently prays to is taking effect on my family's life? For Christians, they think that their God is the way, the truth and the Life. Therefore, their God is the right God, and the 'goddess of mercy' is an 'idol', and 'idols' are made by sinful man, and therefore, praying to the goddess is irrelevant, sinful, detestable and an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. So, my whole family is sinful, and the 'goddess of mercy' is a fluke. For Muslims, they think that Allah is the right God, and the only one and true God in this universe. Nothing except Him alone that rules the heavens and the earth. Wow, how 'majestic' that sounds. For other religious people, they think that their gods are true. These include "Zeus", "Hercules", "Apollo", "Thor", "Poseidon", "Set", "Isis", "Confucius", "Baal", "Odin" etc etc... Now here is the billion dollar question: WHICH GOD IS REAL?
Since, I am safe and sound, I take this fact that a miracle has happened to me. It is indeed a miracle to be safe in this situation. If a miracle can happen to my entire family when my mom prays to a goddess made of clay and painted by professional "clay-pot painters", isn't it the same if we pray to other... supposedly, symbolised or named "gods"? Hindus can pray to other gods and say that their gods have blessed them pretty much. And so will the Sikhs, the Muslims, the Jews, the Catholics, the Taoists, even the Aborigines, and others. Buddhists? I don't know. They seem to be nihilistic about life, so I have nothing to comment about, since meaning is conceptually disconnected and all one has to do is to live a contented life, free from worries without a properly planned strategy by professional psychiatrists. Do you now see the big picture? Every religious person loves to be right, but dislikes being accused of making a wrong stand while working to be right. There is certainly nothing to prove about God's existence, since Science cannot prove it either. And if Science is flawed, what makes one think that religion can do miracles?
There are many gods to pray to just as there are many milk bottles to pray to in times of trouble. But is it just enough to think that God is the only cause and source to solving these problems, without a single effort to rationalise things through? One might wonder why a Christian would pray for healing and yet depend on medicines to cure his or her disease, since Jesus claimed that He has died for our sins and by his stripes, healed our diseases. Perhaps, that only serves as a form of symbol for his benevolent deeds. If God is so powerful and if He created the formula and ideas behind medicine, mathematics, and science, then why is it that up till today, there is still a doubtful cure for AIDS? Why is it that up till today, there are still unsolved puzzles in our equations? Why is it that up till today, Scientists are still constantly overturning old theories and replacing them with newer and more efficient ones? Is this the work of an UNCHANGING God, yesterday, today, and forever? Or is this the work of EVOLUTION, the fact that man evolves through the ages in terms of intelligence, via the adaptation to the environment, society, and other contexts?
I leave these questions to those who are curious enough to look into this matter...
