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The impression forces itself upon one that men measure by false standards,
that everyone seeks power, success, riches for himself, and admires others
who attain them, while undervaluing the truly precious thing in life.
~ Sigmund Freud
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Initial: Frederick
Profession: Psychology Undergraduate
Birthday: days left
Height: 1.76m
Weight: 63kg
Blood Type: A+
Waist size: 29-30 inches
Hobbies: Blogging; Reading; Songs & Movies; Chill out
Most Disliked Food: Anything crustacean - due to allergy
Favourite Songs to Sing to: For You (self-composed) & The Promise
Favourite Body Parts: Nose; Jaws
Schools: Pei Chun Public School (1989 - 1995); Chong Boon Secondary School (1996 - 1999); Nanyang Polytechnic (2000 - 2003); Monash University (2006 - )
I found some interesting phenomenon over Google Earth and would like to share it over here in my cosy little blog. Check this out!
1. This is a beautiful 3D side view of the White House, the world's most important building, occupied by the world's most powerful leader, President of the United States.
2. This is the back door of the White House. Notice that its front gate is directly facing the North.
3. Now let me zoom out to get the bird's eye view of the White House...
4. As I zoom out further revealing more of the city in Washington DC, there is something pretty obvious in the current picture. Did you see anything?
5. Did you see this?
6. Now, let me zoom out even further... it somehow reveals more of the inverted pentagram, the symbol of Baphomet, in another words, Satan.
Pretty amazing eh? Just keep an eye on the United States this time. I have a feeling it has something up her sleeves. Just wait and see.
July 29, 2007
Although my previous entry on the rebuttal of religion is slightly too strong for anyone to digest or accept, I would like to further clarify the issue of religion's danger upon certain human behaviours including specific practices, rituals or actions.
I am not against the idea of Christians believing in a God. I am against the practice of certain rituals that not only tarnish the name of the religion, but are also beyond reason or rationality. Just like humans cannot live without reasons, humans cannot live without the need to be rational as well. God gives Man free will to choose and to make decisions in life. And so, in secular term, we all deserve the right to make choices, to vote and to decide the path we take. Thus, the idea of infant dedication or baptism is what I am against.
Infants are born to this world without a single knowledge of their environment. They are what we call the tabula rasa, or blank slate. They are psychologically innocent and are fully dependent on their parents' care and attachment towards them. In addition, infants are very much vulnerable to their environment and thus, it will be unfair to take away their freedom to make decisions by getting them baptised at such a very young age. Infants have to be taken care of by their parents until they arrive at an age when they are able to have basic discernment and moral values, before deciding for themselves to be baptised. Children ought to have their rights to choose what they want to believe in, not just to be told to believe because they are being brought up to believe.
Behind the facade and taboo of religion, lies a core reason of its undying existence. The existence of certain faith in the supernatural, has a very close connection with the psychological aspect of human nature. I have not seen this coming but I can testify that I have finally discovered such a phenomenon. One of the ultimate rationales behind the existence of a belief system or any organised system of common interests is relative to an individual's desire to be accepted.
Groups are formed based on common grounds, common goals, common visions and common interests. There can never be a successfully organised group without any common purpose in it. Thus, birds of the same feather flock together. Our social mind has a common tendency of conformity based upon how we are viewed by our peers. As a result, we make decisions in order to be accepted within social norms or community. That is one of the reasons why an entire household can be saved when one believes in Christ Jesus. We humans not only want to be accepted by God, but also long for acceptance from other people. That's why we desire love, passion, affection and care. That's why we tend to make good decisions or evil decisions all for the sake of being loved and accepted.
Another rationale behind the existence of a so-called "religion", is neither love, nor faith. It is the knowledge of assurance. Assurance derives from a Protestant Christian doctrine, which states that the inner witness of the Holy Spirit allows the justified disciple to know that they are saved. In another words, it is a one-way psychological communication towards oneself that there is inner peace within that individual. It can be assurance of salvation, assurance of peace or assurance of safety and so on. All we need in life as human beings is the need to be assured, not by facts, but by how we communicate to ourselves. Ultimately, the things we say to ourselves matter. And they can make or break us, just by how we look at ourselves.
There is no need to be Holy Spirit conscious, there is no need to be sin conscious, and there is not a need to be devil conscious. Any consciousness regarding the supernatural is only the state of our minds, which has the tendency to drive one insane. What really matters is, the state of our well-being. Being assured gives birth to love, faith, hope and trust. Without assurance, there can be no happiness.
Faith is non-thinking. That much is true. But being in religion doesn't only requires faith. It doesn't really require action, for action can be carried out without the need to be salvaged from sin or unrighteousness. In addition, faith is blind because it is pure belief and not knowing, not questioning and not doubting. It is the extreme opposite of fear. Faith alone cannot create miracles. Neither can action together with faith. The ONLY gateway for miracles to take place is the existence of assurance. This is the only Mother Element in this whole wide picture of belief system that many fail to grasp.
Assurance speaks louder than faith. It is the ultimate knowledge of one's well-being in a belief system or social mentality.
Religion is unnecessary. It is hypocritical, dangerous and anti-social. It basically takes away the sole purpose of living. However, behind the rituals, practices, culture and belief system, is the essence of assurance, which is why religion is still here to stay. People do not need religion, they need relationships (be it visible or invisible) and assurance.
July 28, 2007
Many Christians condemn almost everyone in the universe that do not share their belief system. Many of them think that the Holy Bible is right and therefore to them, what they try to reason according to their biblical ideology is right as well. But what they do not realise is that they are trying to exclude other correct possibilities or ideas that the world has yet to offer. They are simply trying to put a barricade between them and the World, simply because the World is such an unfriendly place. Although one should wake up to the fact that nothing in this world is fair or just, one should also realise that not every single or foreign idea is of the devil. Neither can they conclude that there is an absolute answer in every case study or circumstance. There can never be a complete "yes" or a complete "no" in any given situation.
Religion is religion in itself. And by mixing religion with Science is the most ridiculous idea anyone could ever come up with. This is because religion and science are two very different subjects. In fact, both of them are strongly opposed. If one believes (I mean strongly believes) in a religion, then Science is of no importance to him or her. But what is missing in such a person's life, is the ability to come to terms with Reality and the effectiveness of the wonders of Science and what it can do to Man.
What really made me uncomfortable is the fact that monotheisms such as Christianity, Catholicism or Islam strongly disapproves homosexuality, thinking of it as a sin against God. Whereas, according to Scientific discovery, the origin of homosexuality is also biological and psychological. You can read more about them here. So does that mean if someone has a birth defect or developmental disorder during puberty, causing that person to be homosexual is condemned because of his or her sin? Wouldn't it be God sining against Himself if one has a birth defect leading to homosexual behaviour, since He "created" that person?
So all homosexuals need to be "set free" because the homosexual behaviour is the product of a devil's work? Erm, what about birth defects or developmental disorder? And if God created that person to have such defects, is God being the devil as well? In this case, how can homosexuality be classified as a sexual sin? Shall we call it a biological sin instead?
Generational curses, as coined by Reverand Mike Connell, is another term which I'd like to address it as biological influence of the genes. Certainly, we all have some features that are somewhat similar or identical to our parents because we are related to them by blood (DNA) and flesh (biological features). This is due to the passing on of genes from parents to an off-spring. So, the off-spring will inherit certain traits, which their parents might possess. It is inevitable that some traits, be it a good or a bad one, would manifest themselves in the later stages of life. Such manifestation is largely determined by external factors.
Idolatry, according to the Holy Bible, is a major sin regarding image. It is usually defined as worship of a cult image, idea or object, as opposed to the worship of a one and only true God. Well, how does one define worship?
Worship usually refers to specific acts of religious praise, honour, or devotion, typically directed to a supernatural being such as God. While atheists do show appreciation to certain ideas or facts, they certainly do not worship these ideas or facts. Atheists or Agnostics are people who have an idea of what they believe in, but certainly, they do not insist that their ideas are always completely correct. This is because there can be no absolute answer because of a domain called the unknown, or should I say, mysteries. These hidden mysteries that form the unknown domain of the world are largely unrecognised by the limitations of our senses.
On the contrary, many Christians strongly insist that their ideas or ideology is hundred percent correct, even on the face on this earth. Worse, according to many of them, nothing could ever change their beliefs. Try talking to them about the issue of death - on why do some humans have premature death, or infant mortality. The reasons for such misfortune is environmental, sociological and biological. However, the religious response to such misfortune is the blame upon the devil for such atrocity done to the poor soul, and the praise upon God who took that person's life because that person has fulfilled his or her purpose in life.. and the rest is unknown. What purpose can there be if that person has yet to achieve his or her dream at such a very young age? What purpose can there be if that person is only but an infant? To die an infant's death is unknown to Christians because their God cannot provide a satisfying answer or conclusion to that cause. Well, if Science cannot give an answer to a problem, what makes one think that religion can? If Biology or Psychology cannot provide a complete finding of the other unknown areas (97%) within the human brain (because we only use on average 3% of it), what makes one think that religion can make us any cleverer?
If one only chooses religion over Science (the latter, which bares tons of evidences that covers almost every aspects of our lives), it is of no difference than living in lalaland. It is like what Einstein called it, "the opium of the people". Indeed, religion acts as a drug that controls the minds of many, causing them to sub-consciously exclude reasoning along with Scientific evidences.
The issue of religion and Science is still in debate till this day. Various subjects of debates are also indirectly related to the above two strongest social institutions. In conclusion, Science is opened to various reasonings as well as constructive criticisms. Unlike religion, Science is opened to challenges and its theories are opened to criticisms and are always updating themselves over time. Religion, is no doubt an institution that forbids skepticisms and challenges of its individual teachings or doctrines, although it is turning unproven facts into unshakable truths through the power of their individual authority. This institution solely promotes the value of non-thinking called faith. Whereas, faith, is the expression of our common human desire - the desire to know more, the desire to understand and to seek for a vision or a dream. The reason why we have faith in ourselves and the things we do is the product of our optimism. Without sheer optimism, it is futile in our efforts to attain our desires.
There are many things that are still unknown to us in this world. For most theists, they do not seek to understand them or to discover more about them, because they already had the answer. And their answer lies in the Holy Book, while everything else to them, is redundant and unimportant. In sum, it is basically an ideology that simply puts a "shut up" sign in front of any Science laboratory.
God help us.
July 25, 2007
I hate to mention names in my blog but this has probably gone a bit too far to begin with. It so happened that my friend, Steve (Sern Hong) has recently pissed me off with his christian arrogance, which proved to have failed in its sissy masquerade as the SMS (short messaging service) conversation dragged on a little longer. This is one example of what I called a rude apologetic pseudo-spiritual hypocritical moderate Christian.
It all started with a "hi" and "how do you do?", which made me see so much of a person Steve is. I hate to criticise people, but it seemed to be bothering me at that time that this old friend of mine used sarcasm against me, as if that would win my heart over to Jesus. These are what Atheists call, the Moderate Christians.
ME: Hi, how are you now?
Rationale - I started the conversation with a friendly salutation.
STEVE: So you still remember me? ;-) Very good right now thank you. How about you? I trust you have a difficult time without Christ right? I have been through that before so I knew how you feel now..
Rationale - Of course I remembered him.. then why would I have SMSed him if I forgot he ever existed? Difficult time without Christ? HELLO...?? I'm doing very well now, enjoying my time catching up with people and reading up on proper materials. I'm gaining knowledge well, studying well and making my life worthwhile.
ME: I'm having a very good time in fact. Life's been normal and sane for me. Having a great time with friends, and doing my studies well. Found a permanent job already?
Rationale - Since he was sarcastic, I gave my sarcastic shot at him as well. An eye for an eye.. yea.. And the fact is, till now, he has not even found a proper permanent job yet. It has been half a year since he got out of military training (ORD). So who is the ultimate laughing stock? Does a laughing stock have a right to even use sarcasm at all?
STEVE: Hmm.. after effect from having 'freed' huh? Let's see how long it can last.. I have been into MLM (Multi-level Marketing) business lately so doing good *anger*. Can't meet you cause bound to have conflicts.
Rationale - Freed? Erm.. freedom is subjective. His assumptions of my life and biography is so shallow and baseless with no proper evidence to back up with. And you guyz know I hate shallow people... and oh, MLM is not even proper job to start with. On the surface it looks professional, but in reality, it is plain bullshit. The ones making the proper sum of money or income for this business are the TNCs, MNCs, entrepreneurs and other large corporations, NOT those minions working under them. Their commissions do not even add up to half of what those entrepreneurs are earning. It is not impossible to become a high flyer in such business. However, unless one has the capability to advertise or sell their products well, it will take a very long time to earn a decent salary out of it. And as for Steve? Haiz... I don't know if he's up to it.
ME: Conflicts? We don't talk about religion la. It's like every time we go out there bounds to be a discussion on such topic. Usually coming from you. I don't like people to tell me what to do or what is wrong, simply because we each have our lives to lead. Rather, I would prefer to be advised in a tactful manner instead of plain sarcasm like what you did just now.
Rationale - Many christians will now tell me that I'm unteachable or disrespect the "christian authority" once I said "I don't like people to tell me what to do or what is wrong". What I meant was, I dislike the way how some christians would become so legalistic or super particular about every movement one makes, as if a single wrong movement or thought is going to be dealt with by a surveillance camera in the sky. Common sense depicts that if you tell somebody that something is wrong, you need sociological, moral or ethical evidence to back it up. Conflict? It all started when one doesn't finish his/her sentence and expect a wholesome and satisfying reply.
STEVE: Ok la. I admit that I purposely wanna poke you la. Don't be so mad leah.. Sorry to be so insensitive to your religious rights.. We come out for some kopi next time lo.. K?
Rationale - There you go, that's sarcasm again. Honestly, where can I find a christian friend who uses sarcasms to win people over to Christ? Since the bible points out that a christian should be like Christ. Is Christ a sarcastic bastard as well? You better pray hard he is or else you're going to hell you son of a bastard. *chuckles*
ME: The topics on religion has always been a sensitive one in any properly held social conversation. If I'm a buddhist, honestly, I would be disgusted by your behaviour just now. Forget it, if you think I'm not worth your time, then so be it. I don't take forced invitations. Just to let you know. If your tone continues to be sarcastic and hostile, then don't blame me for being avoiding too.
Rationale - Yea, it is a sensitive topic because no religious people likes to be trampled over. The reason why I don't discuss these topics is because I respect the rights of other's beliefs.. even though some lack proper medical, scientific or sociological evidences. I'm not like Richard Dawkins who is so against the idea of religion. But I personally believe that one has an individual right to believe in certain ideology. Certainly, I dislike those who agrees to meet up with me for the sake of pride or my invitation. I don't take forced invitations if one thinks I'm not worth their time. I mean, I still have other people to accompany and certainly, I'm not so lonely or lifeless like some christians whom I happened to know.
STEVE: So, so much for being apologetic.. Anyway, if I going to promote my product I selling, will you be able to take it or not? Just asking to be sure..
Rationale - Certainly, he still have the gut to ask for instant forgiveness after so much of his sarcasm being spewed over this ruined conversation. And he still tries to sell his product. I wonder if it's poison. *chuckles* Maybe it's Jesus he's selling. Since he said the whole world needs it in the next message.
ME: HAHA.. depends on what you are selling la. And if I need it or not lor.
STEVE: You surely need it! Everybody needs it! Even the whole world needs it! And that's the philosophy for MLMs, so I have to catch on the fever. ;-) You must support me and not that TL (A.K.A. Robin, my other friend) k?
Rationale - So he's asking me for my support and my alliance after ruining my initial intention of saying "hi" and all. I remembered him saying once, that he's a person without Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Unfortunately, I have to agree with him. He knows himself too well and I don't think I have any capability or rights to interfere at all.. and that's his fucking problem. In addition, he's also asking me to not support my other friend who is also doing the same MLM business as he is. Is this some sort of a moderate christian's behaviour? VERY LIKELY... indeed. Think about it. Analyse deeper, and you'll know what I mean.
ME: Please la. Support what support? I'm on nobody's side. I got better things to do la. And my life to lead. Unless we share common goals la. then that'll be another story.
STEVE: Then what's your goals now? You mind sharing with me? Maybe we do have common goals wihtout you knowing orh.. Parallel goals can also be considered common goals.. :)
ME: Common goals? You sure? Don't tell me you wanna become a psychologist or a counsellor too?
STEVE: Something parallel to that.. Can a social worker be one? I consider myself not sociable enough so now I trying to work my best to be one. So partly a social worker.
Rationale - Question.. how does a person with such attitude ever become a social worker? He should think twice or maybe, self reflect on his stinking pseudo-fundamentalistic behaviour. Anyway, I shall stop judging him now like he has just judged me.
ME: Is being sociable the only way to become a social worker? If you are interested in becoming a social worker, then take up courses pertaining to that field.
Rationale - But then, speaking of a ceasefire in my harsh judgements, I feel that it's important for this chap to find what he is good in doing. All the time, I hear him saying that he would like to have time to think about what he likes to do. But in the meantime, won't it be a benefit if he first find a permament job? He's a diploma holder, not an O'Level holder for goodness sake. He seemed to like to talk so much about what he thinks, or what the bible says, and tell others that what they are saying is not very morally right. Then, I think a puny family church pastor would be a suitable job for him. Hehehe... that is, if he can ever ace the doctorate degree of bible theology.
--- no reply from here on ---
All talk and no ultimate actions... pretty dumb isn't it? I shall peace out for now.
July 24, 2007
Finally, I have finished watching 汉武大帝 yesterday and returned both set of VCDs to the rental store. I was lucky that they overlooked the penalty as the return was one day overdued. Well, perhaps I was their regular customer. LOLX
Anyway, it's a great serial and I like it very much, although the ending was quite a sorrowful one. There's this song towards the end of the drama which really moved me. It's a sad song by the way.. and it kept playing in my mind whenever I recalled certain sad parts of this drama. It's called 千百年後誰還記得誰 in Traditional Mandarin. Basically, this Han Emperor of ancient China, who drove the Xiongnus out of his empire, grew arrogant and mentally paranoid towards the later years of his reign. This fueled the decline of his officials' trust in his authority. As a result, after the death of his most trusted general, Wei Qing, Emperor Wu of the Han suffered many bitter losses, though not militarily. His empire's resources were depleted due to huge expenditure for the ceaseless battles against the Xiongnus. His people were driven to poverty and starvation due to the raised taxes. His officials, though in minority, plotted against him and his son, Prince Ju. His old age and poor health hindered his sole administration of state affairs, which caused him to make wrong decisions resulting in the death of the crown prince as well as his Empress. When he finally realised he had been deceived by treacherous officials, it was already too late.
This serial is worth watching if you are interested in Chinese history. Here's the video where the song was played as an interlude.
The lyrics:
千百年後誰還記得誰《漢武大帝》插曲
當時你給我一個笑臉
讓我心跳一輩子
使我的目光永遠
融進了你的背影
歲月老去我已不能愛
轉過身往事突然清晰
重復你的目光
再也難串起我的記憶
夜深深
夢纏綿人憔悴
既然離別難免今生何必相會
今生何必相會
流星閃過莫須傷悲
千百年之後誰又還記得誰
誰又還記得誰
記得誰
當時你給我一個笑臉
讓我心跳一輩子
使我的目光永遠
融進了你的背影
歲月老去我已不能愛
轉過身往事突然清晰
重復你的目光
再也難串起我的記憶
夜深深
夢纏綿人憔悴
既然離別難免今生何必相會
今生何必相會
流星閃過莫須傷悲
千百年之後誰又還記得誰
誰又還記得
記得誰
夜深深
夢纏綿人憔悴
既然離別難免今生何必相會
今生何必相會
流星閃過莫須傷悲
千百年之後誰又還記得誰
誰又還記得
記得誰
For the benefit of those who can't read Chinese, here are the romanized version of the lyrics as well as my personal translation of the lyrics. I hope I did translate them properly and accurately though.. HAHA. For my Chinese viewers, if I made any mistakes, do let me know so I can do some editing. Thanks. Note: This is my first time translating a Chinese lyric.
qian bai nian hou shui hai ji de shui (han wu da di) cha qu
# dang shi ni gei wo yi ge xiao lian rang wo xin tiao yi bei zi shi wo de mu guang yong yuan rong jin le ni de bei ying sui yue lao qu wo yi bu neng ai zhuan guo shen wang shi tu ran qing xi chong fu ni de mu guang zai ye nan chuan qi wo de ji yi
ye shen shen meng chan mian ren qiao cui ji ran li bie nan mian jin sheng he bi xiang hui jin sheng he bi xiang hui liu xing shan guo mo xu shang bei qian bai nian zhi hou shui you hai ji de shui shui you hai ji de shui ji de shui
repeat #
* ye shen shen meng chan mian ren qiao cui ji ran li bie nan mian jin sheng he bi xiang hui jin sheng he bi xiang hui liu xing shan guo mo xu shang bei qian bai nian zhi hou shui you hai ji de shui shui you hai ji de ji de shui
repeat *
Ages from now, can we still remember us? - Interlude sountrack from Emperor Han Wu
The smile you gave me that day Caused my heart to beat forever And from then till now and forever I have set my eyes on you
As time flew by I could never love again As I looked back the pass suddenly seem so clear Every repetitive sight of you Is now hard to trace from my memory
In the darkest night Annoying and incessant dreams languished Since separation is inevitable Why should there be a union Why should there be a union A meteor flashed There is nothing to be sad about Ages from now, can we still remember us? Can we still remember us?
ENJOY!
July 21, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DARLING!!!!!
*sends million kisses*
*saves a million more kisses for the future*
As this day is my girlfriend's birthday, I actually planned to celebrate it together with a couple who is also one of our closer friends, Sean and Elaine. And because my girlfriend has never truly celebrated her birthday in her life, I decided to give her a little surprise and some enjoyment with some friends on that day itself. My delight is to see her full of smiles and happiness. And we did enjoy ourselves.
Here are some photos for that birthday dinner at Raffles City:
This is before meeting my princess for dinner at the posh restaurant.
That's my darling (left) and Elaine (right).
That's me (left) and Sean (right).
Mmm... my rib-eye steak looks tempting! But it's super expensive.. -.-
That's us! Happy birthday dearie..! Say "kimchi"..
Cutting her favourite tiramisu cake...
The group photo. Me on the left, my darling second left, Elaine beside her, and Sean on the far right. Yezzza...!
All in all, it's a great outting, though we're slightly affected by the alcoholic and caffeinic contents of the marvellous tiramisu cake. It was after all a wonderful celebration well-planned for my girlfriend.. and I'm really glad that she had a great time this weekend. 'Cos I did enjoy myself too! I'm sure all of us did also.
Happy Birthday Dearie.. and Happy Racial Harmony Day to all! lolx
July 20, 2007
Overjoyed and excited about today's event, I got up early in the late morning. Well, it was also by mistake as my mom mistaken this day as the day I had to attend one of my lessons in school. As such, I was awaken by her familiar way of haunting me out of my sweet dreams. Indeed, I am much more aware of my own study schedule.
Today is the eve of my darling's birthday. We've decided to meet up to search for a place called Bliss Haven in one of Braddell's markets. It is a friend-recommended store famous for its delicious muffins. If one day my darling is free, she would make her way down to that store and together, we would try out their muffins. I am definitely looking forward to that day.
Before setting off, I made a quick trip to Compass Point to buy a roll of wrapping paper for the gift I planned to present it to my darling when I meet her this evening. Due to my lack of experience in wrapping gifts, I took about an hour plus to finish the preparation and thus, I had to request a little more time from darling to reach our meeting venue. It was a rewarding experience indeed and I was glad I tried my best. So I took a few photos of that present I had with me.
Note: In order to view the images in actual pixel, please click on the image itself.
We had a wonderful time today. We've searched and found the place we were looking for. Not just that, we made our way to the place we last 'vandalized' by scribbling our names on it. HAHAHA... till now, it is still there and we had a great deal of time chuckling over it. The whole day was spent solely on each other as we've not met for a week due to our busy schedules. I took my darling for a stroll around my old hometown situated in AMK, and slowly, took a brisk walk to Bishan Junction 8 for a short meal at Coffee Bean. Sounds boring to my readers I suppose? But, well, to us, it doesn't matter because spending our precious time with each other is the best thing we could both engage in and anticipate. I believe this can strengthen any bond in any relationship.
Today is a great day for us and we enjoyed ourselves very much. We couldn't wait for the next day to come though, as we will be celebrating darling's actual birthday, together with our friends, Sean and Elaine. Can't wait... I just can't wait... HAHAHA
Oh, darling, I'm glad you like the gift very much. I knew you would like it as I like that design very much when I first laid my eyes on it. Let me be the first to wish you a happy birthday dear...
Alright! That's all for the update. Will blog again very soon.
July 19, 2007
Whenever I chance upon a potato, it looks pretty dull. Not just that, ugly as it seems, its exterior is always filled with craters (known as eyes) and scars from its previous falls. That, is a pretty obvious sight for anyone who owns a pair of biological lens. However, when one slices the potato in half, the interior is, without a doubt, smooth and its texture, gentle and fragile. While it may still seem to some that this potato is one of a hypocrite, on the contrary, it doesn't really deserve such immediate judgement. This potato is therefore, gentle in the inside but appears tough on the outside.
Let's take another look at the next object, which we often chance upon. That is the wet cement used for construction purposes. It is a very useful mixture of elements that will one day become a building of facilities and importance. However stylish its future may be, its harsh origin is, unfortunately, taken for granted or almost forgotten by a great deal of human beings. Let us now examine the processes of how cement is made.
First, rocks are gathered from the quarry before they are broken into palm-sized pieces. They are then tranferred to the crusher to be crushed and reduced to the size of gravel.
Next, the gravels are analysed in a plant laboratory, blended into proper proportion, and then ground even finer. This time, heavy wheel-type rollers (which perhaps look like compressors, to me) are used to grind those gravels into powder against a rotating table.
After the grinding process, those fine materials are passed through a series of vertical cyclone chambers heading to the kiln where they are heated with gasses that need an intense heat of about 1870 degree celcius.
When the heat is over, the cement is now cooled and a finish grinding is done before it is stored in the silos, packaged for use in the construction site.
Indeed, such is the story of the insignificant mixture of wild elements, which goes through various treatments in order to become solid, useful and prospective.
I regret to say, that I am the cement and I have a heart of a potato.
Harshness and stresses are inevitable in anyone's life. But as I reflect upon mine, I found myself relating to a cement's fate. It just gets better, but the price to pay is a result of constant crushes, grinding, stirring, heating and cooling. Its original naivity from the place of comfort far away at the quarry, has to be brought up, grounded, crushed, and toiled through the processes of hard lessons to numb its wildness from within. Hope-shattered, heart-broken and disillusioned, this living life of cement is now getting there but its now scarred, weathered and jaded. There seem to be some gains, but yet some losses along with them.
As I relate my biological heart (not my emotional heart) to an insignificant ready-to-be-eaten potato, it appears to me that their sizes are indeed similar to each other. What a coincidence! Yet, I happened to realise throughout my days as a breathing organism, bad things do happen to us all. And I am not spared either. I hate this fact but I cannot deny it. I cannnot deny that my heart has been broken before (countless of times in fact). I cannot deny that I still hate a handful who have broken my heart or have hurt me some way or another. I cannot deny that I have moved on in my own way and learned the hard way through bitter experiences. And I still cannot deny that despite all the craters I received and all the scars I do and do not deserve, my heart (emotional heart) is still strong and passionate for what is to come. Besides, the potato's tough-looking exterior reminds me of how others usually view me as - someone who is no-nonsense, arrogant, straightforward and distant. They certainly have not yet examined the way I truly feel, and usually come up with ambiguous judgements.
Yes, the interior of a potato seems to be gentle, smooth and easy to look at. But have you tasted it? Have you smelled it? Have you felt it? Have you even try to draw or paint it? Try to even eat or sleep with it and you'll know what to expect. It is this simple potato that holds so much stories and so much experiences of its nurturing growth. Yet, it is what it is. And hence, I am who I am.
I long for acceptance. I long for understanding. I long for love... the most.
I say this, because I am human. Nevertheless, must I repeat we should never take our humanity for granted?
July 16, 2007
I've just received my school's semester schedule last friday and to my astonishment, one of the units I'm about to take was missing in that schedule. Without ado, the academy was informed via email and today I got their reply. It falls on thursday evening, and the remaining units which are still missing from that schedule will be updated soon. I wonder how soon will it be.. perhaps the day when everyone turns up at the entrance of the academy begging for valid reasons.
This is so inconvenient to us all in so many ways. The management wasn't reliable or efficient enough to get everything settled by the end of last week, which was the last week of previous semester's vacation. After all, the conclusion is that this is only a private institution, and there's no sufficient need to put in so much effort to ensure the efficiency of the management, the convenience of the students or the capabilities of the local lecturers. Yea, sure, all these speak of fundings, which have monetary involvements. It just can't be compared to the large, over-sufficient amount of filthy money used to fund shameless institutions like SMU, NTU or even NUS.
I agree that there's no perfect justice, however, the treatment within this education system speaks of the hidden or suppressed social inequality and economic rationalism and injustice present in such a hypocritically political party's grasp of 'unlimited' power. Or should I add that all these are not part of their bribery of the people's affectionate votes for their 'high' names and 'spittable' positions.
Well, that said, I'm now much more aware of what politics, which is linked to education, which is linked to social positions, which is linked to money, which is then linked to power, does to the segregation of the supposedly, currently and wrongly assumed, 'incompetent' batch of future leaders, who are called to be the future leading breeds of capable brainiacs. Ultimate power is, unfortunately, still the source of authority that shapes the minds of people. And only politicians can utilize it. They are the dirtiest, filthiest, most ruthless and slyest pin-hole bastards that will do all they can to buy the affections even of those who don't outwardly oppose them. Lessons learned. So, in future, just know that they are one hell of a bastard. It is their job to become one because they have no other choice.
Anyway, I have no mood to deal with what screwed up the whole system in school recently. I yet to start reading up for my coming lecture this wednesday. It will be a semester for me to once again do better than the previous', for I'm not satisfied with my previous semester's performance.
This saturday is my darling's birthday. HAHAHA.. I can't wait to celebrate my surprises with her on that day itself. In addition, I'm still searching for some... hmm... never mind, I'll keep it as a secret for now.
Happy 4th month to you dear! It has only been a short period of time that we're together, but I know there will be many challenges to come for the both of us. No matter what happens or what will happen along the way, just know that my love for you will never cease to be burning within my bossom.
I love you dar dar.
July 12, 2007
The article below was adapted from a blogger whom I happen to bump into today while I was online. This is a recent incident and a hot topic over Hardware Zone (HWZ) but was deleted. Other bloggers have blogged about this too. Here you go..
PM's Son's Army Gaffe and Why We Have to Worry
2LT Lee Hong Yi, better known as PM Lee's son, had fired off an e-mail within the military network lambasting the "quality of leadership" in the SAF to the top brass, including the Minister of Defence and the Chief of Defence Force.
He had done it after being punished for an error that was largely not his.
What was his fault, however, was involving just about the entire military force of Singapore in this one small matter of his, by addressing the e-mail to entire battalions of people. Committed by an ordinary serviceman, the offence would have warranted a formal military charge - and in an officer's case, his rank may be stripped.
Nothing so far (or so I hear) has been done to 2LT Lee, save that the Commanding Officer of his unit gave a speech to the entire unit the next day about "following the chain of command".
While one might argue that the e-mail comes from the military intranet and should not have been circulated in the general public (i.e. in HardwareZone), 2LT Lee surely could not have expected the matter not to leak out when he addressed it to so many people, most of them National Servicemen rather than full-time regulars.
If you looked through the thread, what's worrying is not the blatant abuse of family ties, by a person who is highly likely to take up an important position in our society in future.
Neither is it the fact that he is being given favourable treatment on two counts: first, the lack of punishment for his offence, and second, his pending disruption from the army (which he mentioned in the article), despite not being bonded under a government scholarship, which, as far as I know, is the only official way of obtaining disruption.
And of course, it's definitely not the "quality of leadership" in the SAF that 2LT Lee questioned that worries me.
No, it is the perceptible sense of fear in the Hardwarezone thread where the topic was discussed. No one dared to give the full details: one had to sieve through several pages of the thread before getting the full picture. Nicknames like "Bored Dragon" and "Golden bar" were given to the persons involved. There were even warnings given by concerned forum members about the ISD and MSD surveilling the thread.
If it were in other democratic countries like the US, such an incident would have been a scandal and generated a media frenzy. Questions would be asked about his conduct and his suitability for an important position in future. The public would have a field day airing their views on his actions.
What would have been the effect? 2LT Lee would learn a painful lesson in humility, and the transparency of the government would be highlighted, because they did not shield even the son of the most important official when he had done wrong.
The resulting fire of the public would simmer and die down, and the public would have been satisfied that their views were heard and their indignation expressed. That fire would have been a cleansing one.
Instead, the entire deed is hushed up. The original thread on HardwareZone was deleted. But perhaps the worst thing of all is that the public is censoring itself. People dare not to speak up about the topic.
Instead of fire, the incident is met only with self-defeat and fear. The public has lost its voice and its own opinion, and surrendered its position as the main critic of the government. And as we know, the local media surrendered its own position a long time ago.
It shouldn't be this way.
Governments should fear people, not the other way round.
It's just a minor incident - after all, there've been worse offences committed by officers in the SAF - but it speaks of a larger, darker, and insiduous problem.
"It does not do to rely too much on silent majorities, Evey, for silence is a fragile thing...one loud noise, and it’s gone...Noise is relative to the silence preceding it - the more absolute the hush, the more shocking the thunderclap.- V, V for Vendetta
Errata: Li Hongyi does have the PSC Overseas scholarship, my bad.
It's sad isn't it? So what if your rank is one of the highest in the army? Some "whitehorse" will bring you down with only a cyber piece of paper. With mere words from the minister's son, who is only an NSF, your regular high and mighty rank will burn in hell and forever, you'll live like a piece of shit and all your peanuts, and even your balls will be paid as ransom to the government. Wow.. what started off as a topic over HWZ had become one hot discussion across the island. But does anyone knows why all these started over mere forums like HWZ or even STOMP? Simple, it seems that somebody is out to get attention. I don't know who, but even if I know, that person's name is hard for me to spit out of my mouth.
And why was that forum topic deleted? Simple, Hardware Zone is owned by SPH, and SPH is indirectly 'ruled' by the government. In fact, there is no free media in Singapore. "Freedom of the press" is unheard of in this pathetic island of totalitarianism. For your information foreigners, there is only ONE fucking media in Singapore. ONE fucking MediaCorp. And that is enough for the government to vomit their propagandas across the island shivering in fear of them or their most famous action - suing a person in court using peanuts to win their war.
That said, I wonder if the quality of leadership within the army is the only questionable subject all around Singapore. Should not the quality of the nation's leadership be questioned as well?
To think about this, brings horror or terror in everyone's heart as almost all the citizens would decide to keep their mouth shut regarding this matter. I think that the above blogger was right - the people should not fear the government, but the government SHOULD fear the people. After all, the government are doing the people some service. A NATION's service. I feel a sense of pity and empathy for the minister's son. Honestly, I wonder if he has what it takes to become the next leader in our future's society. If it is wrong for me to question this, then my apologies. And if it IS in fact wrong to question the government's leadership, then it would better to be the Quitter. For Jesus Christ's sake, the people have brains.
And oh, Junior Lee really needs to get a life. Seriously. I have mine though.
This is my blog, and if anything offends you, do not be a sissy and take it too personally. I strive to express myself because I was born with expressions. If you think I am wrong then fuck off. Period.
July 11, 2007
It's July 11th and guess what..? It's the 7-Eleven Day today! ...in America. Yeah... in America. I came across an old article while surfing the net and found that 5 million free slurpees were given away to celebrate 7-Eleven's 76th Anniversary. The article can be found here. It's so cool! Everything in America is so cool!
5 million! Hah! It's enough to feed the entire Singapore population! ..with Slurpee that is.
What about Singapore? The last time I remembered was that one has to make a purchase of up to 20 bucks before getting some cheap freebies. And I really mean.. CHEAP. There's no free lunch here in this pathetic island indeed. Not at all.
And I'm still agitated by the fact that our fucking ministers are one of the highest paid ministers around the world! Good economy, yes, I agree. Good economy is therefore, in this sense, the determinent of whose government ministers rob the most from their people. This is bullshit...
Anyway, it's a great idea 7-Eleven put forth 4 years ago. Well, the nation's independence day is coming this August 9th. I wonder will the funpacks contain. I hope it's not drinks, toy phones, whistles and cheap titbits. HAHA... what can I say? This is just another false hope. lolx
Finally, after five to six hours of cyber slavery, my blog now has got its look! A brand new era of my old sequel, Bardic Circle, is back. In fact, some time around last year, there had been rumours or doubtful querries that the fourth sequel of the Bardic Circle will be released in Xanga.com. That was then some wishful thinking. But after so many events that had taken place, I now decided to bring those little mythical discussions into reality. Now, VOILA! Bardic Circle 4 is back with a brand new theme - INFINITY.
All thanks to the time I had to make this happen. This site will be constantly updated and I'll be blogging yet again, so stay tune for more goodies!
~ Frederick
July 06, 2007
Dear blog,
Time flies real quick. It is now the second week of my semester vacation. This second week is also about to end in no time at all. Things have been going smoothly for me and it has been several days since I last blogged. I miss you so much.
This holiday of mine is getting more fruitful in my own opinion. In fact, there are lots of things to do for me, but yet, so little time. During this period of vacation, I rented a set of historical chinese serial to entertain myself. And since I have not completed watching this series last year, I shall watch it all over again.
汉武大帝.. that's the simplified chinese title for this show. And I am currently enjoying it. For more information about this series, click here.
I shall rate it 4 out of 5 stars for content and storyline. It's rather detailed, and it is a great historical testimony to show the world that the Chinese are also indeed a superior race of people. It was through the currents of history and through its imperial decline that causes a widespread cultural plague of pigtails by pigs who invaded the middle kingdom. Hence, westerners should get rid of the idea that the Chinese are just men in pigtails and nothing more.
Besides watching videos and checking out some good ones over youtube and google, I spent my time reading up on some books of my interests. I bought a book by Richard Dawkins, entitled The God Delusion.
This book is indeed full of facts and detailed arguments on why we shouldn't view religion as a reliable source. Rather, we should look unto scientific evidences for reasons and answers.
Faith, no doubt is something which we cannot see, it is nothing more than just blind faith. Because faith is an action of pure blind belief, without doubts, without questioning, without wavering and without stumbling, it is doing the impossible because one is told to do so. How can faith alone be sufficient? Faith and action, we all know, walks hand in hand. Since faith is an action, it is nothing more than asking for more actions to take place besides faith. And in doing things of one's desire takes faith and action, why not put it this way: In doing one's desire, it takes actions and more actions, plus planning, scheduling and basically, seeking for opinions. If you unconsciously or subconsciously believe that it can be done, then why the hesitation? An action, through reasoning and critical thoughts, is done without a serious need to confront one's faith, or rather, blind faith, since one has the desire or passion, or inner confidence that the task shall be fulfilled. If it can be done, it will be done. Religious faith alone is just redundant. I believe setting goals and walking the path of achievement is more essential than constantly relying on blind faith to do the job for you.
This era is supposed to be an age of reason. Without reasoning and discoveries, there is no other reason to live this life. Without them, Science would not have succeeded. We would still be stuck in our 'stone age' technologies and ideologies, whereby there would not be any progress in our society and in the world. Therefore, in order for man to survive, man have to adapt to their surrounding and environment, by constantly changing values, principles, thoughts and belief system. Not only that, man have to rely on reasoning and discoveries in order to improve the standard of living for the survival of their species.
Thus, there is neither right nor wrong in any philosophies or doctrines. Being an Agnostic, I gladly say, that it is what works for you and what works for me. If what I thought was right, it might not be the same for you, and vice versa. An argument against what seems to be the peace of others, is a waste of time and peace. Atheists do have a point in the things they say. But if it still doesn't serve as a wake up call to the religious, then there is no reason to argue any further. Similarly, the religious may put forth thousands of verses from their bronze-age scriptures, but if it still doesn't touch the hearts of the Atheists, non-believers, or sceptics, then something is probably wrong with what they are doing - their style, their speech, their behaviors or their semi-proven doctrines.
There is nothing more I could say because this argument will go on and on and will never cease till the end of time. However, I'm constantly reading up books by Bertrand Russell, Richard Dawkins and perhaps later, Mary Midgley.. to unravel the core of their arguments against religious dogma.
I'm going to have lots of time gaining knowledge during the holidays. HAHAHA... as what "Bookworm" company once taught us during my primary school days - READING IS..... FUN!!!!!
I'll never forget that.
July 01, 2007
I've found some videos which I think it's well researched. It basically refute the lousy and baseless arguments that some moderate christians would come up with. And the more these religious people say in their arguments, the more they begin to contradict what's inside their bible... which is not correct. Whatever it is, I find this video really intelligent and has the conclusion for any sound arguments any religious people have crapped about. Check it out.
