Initial: Frederick
Profession: Psychology Undergraduate
Birthday: days left
Height: 1.76m
Weight: 63kg
Blood Type: A+
Waist size: 29-30 inches
Hobbies: Blogging; Reading; Songs & Movies; Chill out
Talent: Writing; Acting; Singing; Accents
Favourite Food:
Italian Food;
Kimchi Chigae;
Roti Prata
Most Disliked Food: Anything crustacean - due to allergy
Favourite Songs to Sing to: For You (self-composed) & The Promise
Favourite Body Parts: Nose; Jaws
Schools: Pei Chun Public School (1989 - 1995); Chong Boon Secondary School (1996 - 1999); Nanyang Polytechnic (2000 - 2003); Monash University (2006 - )
Current Pursuit: Bachelor of Behavioural Science
Research Interest: Evolutionary Psychology
Other Interests: Evolution; Genetics
Contact:
frederikan@live.co.uk
May 19, 2007
Forgiveness is the virtue of the strong. If Mohatma Gandhi was alive today, he'll probably be the one throwing me with such reminders. I am forgiving by nature, that much is true. However, more serious offenses against me are harder to overlook. In addition, my temper problem usually makes it worse.
We are not at all perfect. And we all have our own styles of reaction when faced with different situations. For me, I still find it hard to deal with my anger problems, though I don't really show it when I'm in front of others. In fact, when I'm super pissed, I would act like nothing has happen and when no one's looking, it could get really bad, especially when I'm all alone by myself. Violence.. shouts.. curses.. you name it. Why is that so? Because I don't want others to get a wrong impression on me. It's really crazy to imagine someone shouting away like a mad cow in the corner, when one could just choose to be alone and vent his/her anger by him/herself. That's what I'd do to let off my steam. After cooling off, I'd be back to normal and "sane" mode, and will be all set to talk in a friendly manner again.
So guyz.. not to worry when I'm angry. It's just ME and it's MY problem altogether. Moreover, shouting, screaming, hitting, breaking and throwing things alone by myself is one of my style to releasing my hurt. Another would be blogging and this is when I've finally cooled down.
It hard to forgive. And it takes a lot of courage, strength and will to forgive. To forgive alone is hard.. what more is forgetting? Among all commandments in the Holy Bible, the hardest thing for me is not to love others the way I love myself.. but to forgive others and forget their sins against me. I'm still trying to be more
magnanimous though...
Anyway, no church is perfect. I was telling Alystine today about how some church leaders may unconsciously abuse their powers thinking they had it altogether than their congregation. This is sadly, true for some charismatic churches. However, we are living in a broken-down world where we do not base our faith upon men's opinion about us, nor are our values determined by what we do, what we eat or where we live. It is who are are that ought to be appreciated.
We all know that God appreciates us.. but are we willing to appreciate ourselves and one another as well? I find it rather hard to get along with some people who thought I am stuck up or arrogant just because I don't smile that often. Not like I'm trying to act cool or something, but I see no sense of smiling every minute and second for it will make me look clowny. I'm alright actually. Happiness is shown in the state of being, not on the face. Bear this in mind!
We are the judges of superegos and managers of egos but a complete idiot towards the id. In another words, we are so occupied in determining our morality or conscience and cultivating our self-control or behaviors that we forget everything about the condition of our heart and mind... perhaps 10% of understanding the id is good enough.
Psychology aside, it's rather a great service today. I felt tired for the whole week sloggin' for my assignments and indirectly getting involved in some stupid work politics. I got myself frustrated, angry and insane. But thank God for Saturdays, when I can unwind myself, not just by listening to encouraging sermons in church but to hang out with friends who are my brothers and sisters-in-christ. They are slightly different from my ordinary friends as they are more concern about my wellbeing and how I'm doing in my life. It's the connection that I felt a sense of belonging. It's part of a reason why I go to church. It's part of a reason why I chose to stay, rooted and planted into the house of God, because I still see the importance of interdependence between friends who will be there to spice up my Saturday nights.
Darling, I want you to know that I really appreciate what you've done for me all these while. I may not say this as much but it doesn't mean I love you any lesser. I've never asked for you to find solutions to my problems, nor anything larger than that to fix the problems I'm facing. But rather, it's the little things you do that makes me fall deeper in love with you. And I felt really blessed that you've become part of my life. Thank you dear.. for everything.
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