identity
thoughts
history
chatbox
readers
members
wishes
exits
kudos
The impression forces itself upon one that men measure by false standards,
that everyone seeks power, success, riches for himself, and admires others
who attain them, while undervaluing the truly precious thing in life.
~ Sigmund Freud
:: Best viewed with Internet Explorer 6.0 or 7.0 ::
Initial: Frederick
Profession: Psychology Undergraduate
Birthday: days left
Height: 1.76m
Weight: 63kg
Blood Type: A+
Waist size: 29-30 inches
Hobbies: Blogging; Reading; Songs & Movies; Chill out
Most Disliked Food: Anything crustacean - due to allergy
Favourite Songs to Sing to: For You (self-composed) & The Promise
Favourite Body Parts: Nose; Jaws
Schools: Pei Chun Public School (1989 - 1995); Chong Boon Secondary School (1996 - 1999); Nanyang Polytechnic (2000 - 2003); Monash University (2006 - )
Alright, just the last post to end the month of March with a bliss. It's rather surprising these days to see my friendster's viewership soaring higher in statistic. Okay, I'm a guy so definitely my viewership will be much lesser compared to the gals. But a hundred odds is, to me, quite a substantial amount.
Compared to last month's "Single" statistic, this month's performance was way higher although in January, the total number of viewership reached 136 (SEE STATS BELOW).
Take note, the above screen-shot was taken right after I switched from "Single" status to "In a Relationship" status.
Moreover, to think that this is the highest record of mine so far, I had a "soaring" surprise this month...
161 views excluding the first 8 days of the month of March. I can just imagine how many more views would then be added... amazing.
And to think that I get the most views when I'm single..
When did my value increase so suddenly? Is it because I'm attached? Hmm.. can't be. But I know some of my friends are just curious to know who my girl is. HAHAHA...
Whatever it is, they can say what they like.. but nothing is going to change my heart from loving her the way it should be.
I hate to say this but..... "The queue is going to be closed for a long time." lolx
March 29, 2007
Long day today. It's physically and mentally demanding as well.
I had to go for my lesson in the morning and I had to wake up pretty early to get myself ready. What sucked was that I couldn't bring myself to sleep last night and I was so "on-the-high". Perhaps, this was because I had too much hot chocolate after dinner last night and too much energy was stored in my body.. hence, my sleeplessness.
And I planned to go on a caffeine cut-down today but I just couldn't. My eyes were like telling me to shut themselves from the world and my brain was telling me to go get some coffee. So off I went for a cup of mocha during break time.
Aw.. there I went, I sinned again.
Work was as usual. Nothing eventful, just the same old routine job and all... if there's anything eventful, it's either a promotion or a termination (which, the latter, is hardly going to happen for me anytime). lolx
I'm shagged; dead tired. But what kept me alive still was the strength God placed in me, and the every moments I thought about my baby.. Love you so much.
I love you dear.. I really do.
Just wanna let you know.. that unless my life lets me go, I'll stay by your side for as long as you want me to.
March 28, 2007
It's Wednesday!!!
Okay, it's just like any other day one might think. But, today is the day I'm meeting my dear for our personal "choir practice". And where did we practice singing? I'm not revealing it here, you guyz go make a guess yourself!
Yea, and it rained at the wrong time too. I was about to hand in my assignment when the clouds banged against each other creating thunder. Alright, I know it doesn't work that way.. but it's just my way of describing things I don't know about.. ah well.. yea.. lousy weather with stupid structures. They should have dug an underpass to Funan center or Capitol building wad... SMU has an underpass, why can't we have it too? We are hipper doh... Singapore Monash University leh... no matter how foreign we are to you all, we are still your own people! You see you see.. Singaporeans bullying Singaporeans! No hope liao lah.. lolx
Whatever, SMU sux.
Anyway, long day tomorrow. I've got a lesson in the morning, lunch at noon and finally work in the afternoon till the evening at about 6 plus.. and my next two assignments are due in a week's time. Shucks.. okay lah. At least it's more slack than SMU, so I should just stop complaining. But WTH, I'm enjoying every bit of my LIFE!!! And some people over there are working their asses off, but eventually, we'll all be sharing the same bright future. WTH WTH... it's an unfair world. But then I feel sorry them. Haiz... so sadz. lolx
March 26, 2007
Work work work.
Not literally 'work' but rather, working on my essay.
The entire afternoon was spent finishing up the first draft of my Sociology essay. I was really shocked that I did not exceed the word limit at all. Not even a thousand words, which is THE limit. I gotta start figuring out the points I missed out tomorrow. This doesn't seem to be right. Haiz.. this is my first time doing Sociology as my minor.. O' cut me some slack Aussies!!! I know this shouldn't be an excuse but I wouldn't have completed my first draft without the help of my mom's treat to a sumptuous lunch at a Japanese restaurant today. More food equals more nutrients traveling up my brain.
And along came Robin who volunteered to sit beside me throughout the period when I was slaving through my essay. What a nice guy. I swear he makes a good company 'cos he would at least do something else while waiting for you to finish what you are busy with. Ah well, he's a friend great to hang out with whenever you have nothing better to do. That's a nice guy over there.
And later this evening we met up with Steve at the City Hall MRT control station. MAN!! I was shocked when I saw him. Green specs; blue checks; light grey t-shirt and cargo-pants. Alright, at least this is better than the last time I saw him - green specs; purple t-shirt and brown cargo pants. You can imagine it right.. hahaha... I'm not saying anything. lolx
I'm sorry people but.. if there's anyone out there who wishes me to post naked photographs of myself or expose any flesh from any part of my body, I would wish to.. but I would like to keep this blog a clean site. Not because I'm paranoid of becoming sort of 'popular' over-night.. not because I'm suffering from low self-esteem or poor self-image.. and not because I'm such a sadist in breaking the hearts of you people... Really sorry for disappointing you guyz but, this is my personal blog still and I want it to remain a decent place for people and myself to visit. Of course, my plan is to make my entries as interesting as possible and I'm still working on this. I hope some of you guyz would understand. Well, here's a little slogan with my picture on it - dedicated to all my fans out there...
Oh, there's one more thing I did not remember to blog about. This happened last Saturday.
I was having coffee in the classroom that morning during break time. There I was sipping on my cup of warm mocha enjoying every sip of it when I heard some tiny knocks at the side of the cup. No.. not from the outside, but from the inside! I peeped into the little 'sipping hole' and saw something really peculiar. So I took off the cover and lo and behold!!!
A little closer now...
And where did this cup of mocha came from?
7-Eleven. -_-
Apparently, the tube, which is found in this cup, fell off the dispenser while the machine was making this cup of mocha for my consumption. I fear for the fate of the future customers patronizing that machine next. Water and solutions would be splashing everywhere without this tube to guide the dispenser. That's my guess but... oh well. Blame it on the machine for being so sucky. lolx
March 25, 2007
March 24, 2007
Alright.
Service was great today. The sleep bug came and wreck my mind with drowsiness and lethargy, but I managed to fight it away with all the strength I have. God has indeed gave me strength to do so. Hahaha..
Met my dear up for a romantic dinner at one corner of Expo before going for choir practice. We had Burger King. She ordered two boxes of finger food - Chicken Cheese Sticks and Nuggets - and she only took one bite of what she ordered. -_- If that doesn't make it any better, here's the best... she fed the remainders to me. And I happened to be the one finishing my Rendang Meal and those sticks & nuggets. I became so full, I had singing difficulty during the practice. Hahaha... but well, not an issue anyway. I still managed to hit the high notes.
Argh.. the sleepy bug is invading my mind again as I write. Never mind. I'll be back for more entry.
Good night people!
March 23, 2007
I wasn't suppose to have any lesson today but this lesson is a make-up lesson from the one which is canceled in May. And listen carefully, it's the Journalism class! Argh... can we just get a better lecturer like Sheila to come and teach us instead? At least for that, I would be punctual and stay on in class till the very end of its session.
Well, complains aside, today, our dreams have came true. And almost everyone I knew in this class were on a high spirit. Guess what.. or rather, guess who's coming back? SHEILA WAN! That lecturer we had today actually made an announcement that our lecture would be taken over by Sheila. PHEW!!! What a relief. At least my High Distinction dream is about to come to pass with Sheila around.
Sometimes, it's not a matter of whether we are smart kids or stupid kids. Lecturers, too, play a part in facilitating and delivering the core topics to the students making them understand the requirements of their assignments. Especially those coming from a hip University like us. Hipper than SMU. By the way, WE ARE FROM SMU AS WELL - Singapore Monash University. I don't care but this term has been coined by me so, it has a copyright. Well, one can say that we cannot put all the blame on the lecturers, that much is true. However, if the topics are not properly delivered to the students, how would one expect them to understand them well? Or rather, how would one expect them to become interested in what they are studying for the semester?
My tips for private university lecturers: -
1) Get straight to the point. Tell us what we need to hear, not what you want us to hear.
2) You can share your experiences with us, but with relevance to the topic or subject.
3) Lecturers are not there to "lecture" us, just like students are not there to "study" you. Let's abolish the classroom hierarchy and get straight into the learning environment where we, as a lecture class, learn from one another.
4) Don't bore us to death. Boredom is the beginning of Pon Teng (skipping lessons). And this can lead to a lot of issues. It will soon affect your job position.
Alright. This was my first time "pon teng"-ing class. I went for the lesson and it was still, as usual, boring to the core and I ended up reading from the text underlining important stuffs as I read. So during break time, Esther, Halima and I packed our bags and went out of class.. of course, signing our attendance before that.
And where did we went to? Gloria Jeans Cafe for some drinks and slacked around a bit. And my.. it's my first time ordering from this cafe and I've no idea what to get myself. So, I just uttered "latte" and there you go, a nice cup of latte with some decorations on it. Check it out!
Nice... I'll be going back to Gloria Jeans. That's gonna be the place I'll slack around.
Oh, to the 'Christian Group' I know about, you guyz can hate me for not opening up myself to you all. But then, if you wanna know the reason why.. here's the reason. Because I hate being questioned about the decisions I make especially over my personal and private life. Well, not exactly private, but as soon as some dick heads start invading my privacy, then I'm gonna get REAL mad. And to tell you guyz something.. you guyz don't really know me or even understand me. Not because I don't wanna share or open up myself. I would only do it if you guyz can just stop judging me or putting labels on me.. or even spreading rumors about me, thinking or saying stuffs that are obviously not true about me. You guyz can continue to guess what sort of person I am. But I'm not revealing myself if this continues on. So no matter how much you guyz pray, and no actions from you all, it's not going to help either.
And oh, to someone(s) in that group, please stop being sarcastic. I've never used sarcasms on anyone unless they use them on me. And if I didn't do that to you, please, for f**k's sake, DON'T do that to me! Shame on you people!
Oh whatever... conflicts usually arise not when there's hatred, but rather, when there is indifference. And my principles and values in life are different to those chaps I happened to know. Nonetheless, I will never compromise my beliefs for anything else, even if you beat the lights out of me.
March 20, 2007
Mr. Aphroditus is our guest interviewer-cum-diplomat for the talk show tonight. He's specially invited to pay Prince Frederick of the North Siberia a visit soon after he got attached four days ago to a wonderful Princess from the wild wild West. Aphroditus, too, came with an intention.
As Mr. Aphroditus took his seat on the comfortable sofa at the corner of the fireplace, he gave the Prince a friendly wink before clearing his throat as he continued with a smile.
Aphroditus: I hope your heart isn't beating too quickly as we speak.
Frederick:(Chuckles shyly) Of course not. I'm calmer now, especially when there's a special guest in this throne hall of mine.
Aphroditus: Relax, Frex. Think of me as your friend now. And I already am. Oh, cut those formalities. We'll have none of them tonight. Have I made myself clear?
Frederick: Crystal..
Aphroditus: Good! It's a real pleasure to be invited to do your talk show this evening. An honor as well, my Prince.
Frederick:(lolx) It's been a while since the fall of Siberia to some assholes living in those wilderness. But nothing could ever stop this empire from regaining its strength.
Aphroditus: Agreed. I'm glad you've survived your past injuries during that fearsome warfare last year. Have you not?
Frederick: Thank God for His healing! I almost got myself killed! But there're some guardian angels around me that helped me out. It's been a long and tiresome fight for the freedom of Siberia. Winning the war was tough but we did it.
Aphroditus: What happened? I heard it resulted in a stalemate. Who were those people? And what happened after the fall?
Frederick: Those bastards killed my previous Princess. They came to steal, to kill and to destroy. They destroyed her completely in an instant, right before my very eyes. They took away half of my soul, my provisions and massacred millions of my men. They're from the South-Eastern part of this empire I own.
Aphroditus:(interrupts) ...sorry to interrupt but, does that make them the rebels?
Frederick: Indeed! Those bastards are rebels but worse than that. These Wildmen rob the hearts of my people and will continue to hunt them down. Those creatures will strike anytime, at anywhere without warning. We are, however, still at war. But that's beside the story. We had an alliance - the Central Gale Alliance (CG alliance). Those tiny little allied princedoms are part of our own, but sought to betray us at the end of the war against the Wildmen in the South. Soon after, one of the princedoms began terrorizing the privacies of our people, becoming the present-day terrorists of Reality. The alliance is now on the rocks, though tensions remain concealed.
Aphroditus: I see. However, you've found your Princess once more.
Frederick: Yes. And that's a joyous event to talk about tonight instead, my friend. And you're also invited to my official banquet coming up soon.
Aphroditus: Thanks a lot. And I can't wait to see how your Princess is like.
Frederick:(lolx) She more beautiful than you could ever imagine. Nothing can ever stop me from loving her now. No one dares defy my order to protect my Princess with all their bodies, strength and might.. and I am included.
Aphroditus: ..and what about the alliance? A part of them seem to be disagreeing with almost every move you are making.
Frederick: To death be their legacy and off-springs! They have become the rebels and shall join the Wildmen in their cesspit graveyards should they provoke the power of the North Siberian politics.
Aphroditus: My great Prince, your wisdom have made you well. And I shall see this empire grow to its mightiest of all Golden Ages. I have come also as an ambassador of the Western Frontier to bring thee good news. We will form an alliance and together we shall recapture and restore the South from those monsters.
Frederick: Splendid! My humble appreciation to your monarch.
Aphroditus: You're welcome, my Prince. Now, if you don't mind, let's have some private conversation together for now.
Frederick: Of course, anytime my friend.
The Prince and the diplomat left the throne hall for the sanctuary. The Prince is happy that his kingdom has been restored and his Princess found.
The tale of Siberia goes on... do stay tune.
March 19, 2007
My readership have reached a thousand, I realized. But that doesn't mean I should be complacent. Thank you people for being so supportive. Though some of you chose to go against me, I have no choice but to flick you away like some bloody mucus from my fingers. Gosh, I wonder where did I get those bloody mucus... my nose must have been bleeding so badly. Perhaps, I get mucus from my ass as well. Yucks, I must have been so disgusting. I need a shower. Hahaha... a cleansing of such losers from my life.
Obviously there are some people who doesn't even understand simple English. This is an ultimate insult to me and to everyone who actually understands English, especially when it is written on presentable blogs like this. Well, you know who you are. And thanks for all the harsh words against me. Very well said; very well placed in its structure. But for someone who can only talk and not understand is not very impressive, especially to one perfectionist dwelling in this blog all the time - and that's none other than yours truly.
There's no one who can place any precise judgments on how or what my character is like, not even condemn it! You've all seen one side of me all the time. It doesn't matter which side. Hence, there's nobody who truly knows me through and through, unless you're God. So I was actually wondering if these losers are trying to play God or act like Him which is totally insane and stupid. I can be directly offensive in my blogging, so if you make me mad, such entry is what you get.
Who are you to judge me? Who are you to condemn me of my character? And who the hell are you to tell me what's true and what's NOT true; what to do and what NOT to do? Do you even know me; or do I even know who the f**k are you when you are just an anonymous commenter?
What have I just said, people? If I ever introduce myself, I don't see why some others remain concealed. You can do this on other people's tagboard, and that's your problem, but when you step into this place, please at least let me know who you are. I've got lots of contacts and I don't want any identity confusions over the tagboard to prevent misunderstandings. I hope you guyz would understand, not just me, but the English written as well. If you don't understand English, please, go pick it up, it's useful... and even guarantees you a job, at least, a job of a toilet-cleaner (telling the difference between 'gents' & 'ladies').
I'm making a public announcement here that from now on, anyone who has anonymous nicks or chooses not to introduce themselves will be banned from tagging. I hope you all understand my side of the story and that I hope to get everything done properly and in order. Thank you very much for your cooperation, and to those who are against me, thank you for your attention and apologies for the inconvenience caused.
Way Back Into Love
I've been living with a shadow overhead I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed I've been lonely for so long Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away Just in case I ever need `em again someday I've been setting aside time To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I wanna do is find a way back into love I can't make it through without a way back into love Ohhhhh
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine I've been searching but I just don't see the signs I know that it's out there There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light Not somebody just to get me through the night I could use some direction And I'm open to your suggestions
All I wanna do is find a way back into love I can't make it through without a way back into love And if I open my heart again I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real Or if anybody feels the way I feel I need inspiration Not just another negotiation
All I wanna do is find a way back into love I can't make it through without a way back into love And if I open my heart to you I'm hoping you'll show me what to do And if you help me to start again You know that I’ll be there for you in the end
I'm gonna say something very personal here: I got attached two days ago.
To people out there, I'm not ashame to say this now. I repeat, this is personal, and unfortunately, I can't make this entry a private one. This, is one sucky thing about Blogger.com.
Anyway, since this is personal in my opinion, I expect people to respect it and not only that, to respect my decision.. and OUR decision.
I'm sorry guyz that I tried to hide the truth.
But, since I confessed the truth here, I guess everyone would have known it by now. And Jas, you don't have to remain low already. Let's just stay strong against all odds together. I have been shy and afraid to let the world know, I apologize for that, but the truth is now out.
Let us both change our profiles and let the world know that we love each other.
And to some people out there, mind your own business! Thank you.
How many times must I repeat myself?
THIS BLOG SPEAKS NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. ASK ME PERSONALLY, I MIGHT NOT EVEN TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
How many times must I repeat myself?
MY PERSONAL LIFE IS PRIVATE! AND NO ONE SHOULD INTERFERE UNLESS I WANT THEM TO.
How many times must I repeat myself?
WHEN YOU TAG ME.. BE FRIENDLY AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF. I INTRODUCE MYSELF ALL THE TIME. WHY CAN'T YOU DO THE SAME INSTEAD OF REMAINING ANONYMOUS OR HIDDEN IN UR DARN IDENTITY?
How many times must I repeat myself?
THIS BLOG IS PERSONAL. READ IT AT YOUR OWN RISK. WHATEVER IT IS, I REFUSE TO ENTERTAIN ANYONE WHO KEPT ASKING ME FURTHER ABOUT WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON.. THIS BLOG SPEAKS EVERYTHING. AND IF IT'S PERSONAL, PLEASE, FOR ANGEL SAKE, RESPECT IT!
But this... I'll always repeat with pleasure and joy, that I love you darling.. you will always be in my heart.
March 16, 2007
Questions are no longer questions. Doubts in our hearts have become crystals; As the latter melted away this bright sunny afternoon.
Spaces are no longer voids. Silence is gradually fading away; As proximity grew closer.
The feelings grew; the desires yearned. The result of daily care and attention; Ignited the flame of attraction.
The thought of concern; the hold of a warm hand. A grip of them both confirmed her love; And so commenced the heat of passion.
A gentle peck; a romantic kiss. The love so warm; we could hardly miss. And in her eyes.. I could really see.. The kind of love she felt for me.
I spoke my words; and she spoke hers. For we both knew that we felt the same way too; A final hug that sealed my words.. And a confession that poured from my very heart:
I LOVE YOU.
1603
Watched Music & Lyrics today with Jasmine and I've got to tell you guyz that this is a very good romantic comedy. I enjoyed it very much and would seriously recommend this movie to any couples out there who are planning to catch a movie these days with their significant others. To all those who are going out for a little date with someone you like, this is the show for you both! Alright, here's my rating for the show...
And yes. Hugh Grant is funny. HAHAHA
And oh.. besides, we've tried two different ice-cream flavors from Bravissimo at Vivocity - Cookies & Cream and Strawberry. They taste real good.. but a little too sweet for her. lolx... What to do? I've got a sweet tooth.
March 13, 2007
It's always very tiring to study and work on the same day. And today, I had to do that as I've given my word to my boss that I'd be coming for work. So straight after Journalism class, I headed straight home for lunch and then made my way to work. I was already half-dead when I reached there.. gasping for air and cool breeze when I reached my office. Darn, I really need a breather. The air-con was cold enough and the boss wasn't there.. so that gave me enough time to cool down before starting work.
'Twas a long busy day for me.. but her caring message in the morning have put a smile on my face and in my heart. Sometimes I wonder.. would I still be smiling if I haven't met her? Most likely no. I am so convinced to ever wanna get to know her more.. and know her even better...
I was playing with my phone during break time yesterday in school and took a random shot of myself at the study corner...
Hehehe.. looks like it's snowing... lolx
Anyway.. gotta visit my dreamland soon. Be right back here again!
March 12, 2007
Today was well spent. A great day the Lord made.. at least for me. I enjoyed myself pretty much.
I had Psychology lesson this morning at 10am and before that, I was really tired - physically and mentally. As I woke up and stretched my worn out body, I couldn't help but to think of her. She's been the first thing on my mind lately and I wondered if she had a great sleep last night.
After the morning shower, I sat down on my comfortable dining chair munching my sandwiches away.. when in came a "Good Morning" message from her. This just brightened up my day, lifted my spirit, kept me energized and placed a smile on my face. Furthermore, she told me to get coffee on my way for my lesson but it seemed right then that I had no need for it already. Hahaha.. Well, I bought a can for myself during the break just to enjoy the coffee aroma though.
I wanted to go to Soup-spoon for lunch today but unfortunately the store is still closed till further notice. Well, the entire island of Singapore knows that the supervisor of that restaurant was stabbed to death by his own cook. Wow.. I mean woe! What a tactless manager and what a rash chef! I hope their restaurant doesn't close down just because of this incident 'cos the soup there taste great. Poor crews working over there.. they can't go to work today. And I don't know how long are they going to be put on stand by. No work = no salary. Poor things.. all because of stupid management.
Anyway, I treated myself to a burger lunch at BK. Then invaded TCC for their yummy Oreo Milkshake. Studied a little at that cafe and then headed straight home there after.
I was surfing the net and reading my friend's blog when I came across a movie he blogged about - Letters From Iwo Jima, a war film that's made to tell the story in the Jap's perspective. WOW.. it's historical and it's a war film! If you were to know me very well, I don't just go for comedies and laugh my ass off, but rather, my next favorite movie genre has got to be war and historical films. So, off I went!
At first I wanted to watch the movie alone but still, I gave a shot at trying to ask some of my friends out. Well, I did manage to go to the movie with Glenn this time. So we met up at Cineleisure, had a quick dinner at Kobayashi and then head straight for the show.
To those who are looking for quality Japanese fast food, and happen to pass by Kobayashi in the basement of Cineleisure, don't eat there. It sucks. Price wise and food wise. The portion is REALLY small and as a customer, you can get cheated if it's your first few times there.
Here, look at the menu: -
This was what I ordered. Grilled Eel Rice for the evening to feed my intestines.
And this is what they gave me: -
Half of what is shown on the menu.
This is not the first time any stores con people like that. Haiz.. the rice they bought must be expensive; the eel they bought must have cost 1 gold bar; and the worker they employed must be so poor that we need to pour our inheritance on him. Now America's portions of food do not double our size, but triple! By the way, is Singapore going through some kind of a slimming culture? Too bad.. and a BIG SORRY, 'cos I won't be joining. I'd be joining the fit culture, thank you very much.
Before I go, let me just rate the movie I've just watched. Here you go: -
Yet another four-star show in my opinion..
Alright, my eyes are closing. Am now looking forward to find Jas in her lalaland too. lolx
March 11, 2007
My family and I went for a movie treat this morning and the show: 300.
It's a historical war film packed with lots of blood, gore and violence. But yet, it's a good movie with superb graphics and sound effects. Not to mention, the tension of warfare is 'there'.. so this makes the movie not just watchable but worth a watch on weekends.
For this, I rate it:
Great movie and sumptuous lunch at Toa Payoh after that.
Nice day but HOT weather.. I almost got fried today.
And well, now I just feel like relaxing and preparing for tomorrow's lesson at 10am.
Hahaha.. oh well, I'll be back again soon.
March 09, 2007
School was absolutely boring today!!! >.<
I wanna sleep in class already. More like my temptation to kill the lecturer! Argh...!! She was so freakin' soft and spoke real slowly with this strong fillipino accent. Not just that, the way she conducted the class was so similar to Darren's style of teaching!!! OH MY GOODNESS... tell me why? WHY WHY WHY??? Why must history repeat itself every semester. It's like every semester we'll get at least one or two sucky lecturers to torment us! Excuse me, this is not hell. This is a school, damn it!
Now now now.. tell me what am I going to do for the rest of the semester with this kind of crappy lesson every week? Haiz... I'm really fed up of this system and service TMC is giving us. I think the whole lot of us students should just write in a petition to have a change of lecturers or just some little complains about our current miseries. Shall we? Shall we just unite and request for a better change of environment? ANSWER ME!!! >.<
The lesson was crap la. Now I know I have to study alone with the help of online audio lectures. Why must we suffer like this? Why must the attitude of those lecturers be this way? Why can't they put in the passion to teach the students who are passionate in their studies and wanting to do well in their core modules. I find these lecturers VERY EXTREMELY INCONSIDERATE!!! God should just strike them dead instead of creating them. For what? What's the point of placing so much seed of potential in them when they don't even know how to use it well? They're living for the sake of living in my opinion. Whole lot of STUPID IDIOTS!!!
For this, I have just one phrase to say to them, "If you wanna do something, do it well!"
This has always been my motto, even in relationships. One should be passionate in what he or she is doing. When you choose to do something, do it well.
When you choose to perform a drama, perform at your very best as if you are a professional actor yourself!
When you choose to study in order to upgrade yourself, give it your very best shot as if you are a scholar-to-be!
When you choose to love somebody, love him/her with all your heart.. give your very best to that person!
That's suppose to be the way! I don't know how you guyz may think but according to me, I operate according to that very life motto of mine. It has always been my principle since I came into this world.
Haiz... sadz...
Argh.. ouch. I just woke up from my deep sleep and now my entire body is aching from head to toe. I just hate this feeling..
And I can't believe that the first thing on my mind is her.
Have I fallen for her this time? It seems like this lovely feeling of falling for someone can actually erase the agony, anguish and hurt I once had for squidy. It's like starting a new life on my own. But yet, I just don't know how to tell her.. even though I know she has been hinting me.
I've made many mistakes and I don't wanna repeat them anymore. The reason for me delaying my confession has got to be the quick pace of how things have been progressing. And the faster it becomes, the faster it will be gone. I want to build a lasting and strong relationship with someone special. I don't want somebody who would just come and go like all my other ex-es. I'm afraid.. that she'd do the same to me.
I really don't know what to do right now...
I can give my heart to someone else.. wholeheartedly, with all my love and care. But will she take it for granted? I've been through so much.. and these experiences have highlighted my mistakes over and over. They have taught me to take things slow and easy. They have taught me to constantly improve myself and not stay stagnant. They've taught me to put God first in my relationship. They've taught me to be emotionally independent and only draw my sources and my needs from God.
All I really need right now... is for a girl who understands me, who understands all that I've been through. If she ever likes me, she has to understand me and spare some thoughts about me. I do have my own fears. I will eventually overcome them. I also have my own doubts. But I hope she can clarify them for me soon.
나, 좋아에요...
사랑해요 할 수 있는가?
March 08, 2007
Just came back from a combined cell group meeting in ACTS Lifestyle Bookshop at China Square. Pastor shared a really encouraging message on dealing with our trials, setbacks, persecutions and all bad things that God allowed to be happening in our lives. This is something which is called the Threshing Floor - a place where good things are separated from the bad things inside of us making us pure and righteous before God over time. All these come as forms of lessons to teach us, to encourage us, to strengthen us and to help us mature as human beings.
For we all know, that bad things happen to good people. Not just that, it happens to everybody all the time. We are not even spared from trials, tribulations, temptations and the mistakes that may come our way during our journey in life. Hence, it's always so essential to draw near to God each time we fall. Let His presence fill us again and again whenever we are feeling down or disappointed. This is one way whereby God can perform His healing power in us that will make us whole again, which will in turn spur us towards fulfilling what ought to be done, and in return, miracles will happen if we continue to put our trust in Him.
"We are indeed the Chosen Ones. However, the laborers are few.. so it's a matter of whether we want to choose ourselves to become what God wants us to be in the end." I'm still pondering over this phrase. Really chim man... lolx
The entire meeting was great beyond words. And I did enjoy myself today.
I realized today.. that I no longer feel the longing to be attached to my past anymore. What's past is past. Let bygones be bygones. It's OVER! And all I can say is that, if she made the choice to let me go just like that and cutting off all contacts with me.. then there's something I can do right now. What is that? Well, all I can do, is to move on. And I'm doing really well at that, thank you very much! Been through 6 relationships in my life and I can say that this time, I've become stronger although jaded in some sense. But hey, that doesn't mean I'm not serious when it comes to being in a relationship. For those who know me long enough, you guyz should understand very well how much I once loved my ex-es.
It pretty easy for me now to recover fast from a break up. All thanks to God for making it possible because He never stops bringing people in my life to encourage me. Also, God gives me choices to choose the right person for myself as I walk around smelling the flowers.
To my Squid-no-more,
All I can say right now is that I've been a fool to be waiting for you. I should move on, like what you said. I've been wallowing in self-pity all these while when you were not around. I admit I've been a stupid fool to be like this. But now, I know I shouldn't because since you're gone, I've seen many faces and I know that you are not the only one who can be true to me. But since you chose to leave me, breaking my heart, I've no other choice but to give my just amended heart to somebody else. Why did you leave me so suddenly? Whatever your reason is, still, you have left me. You betrayed my feelings I had for you. Period. So, right now, I'm off to see another gal.. who might be feeling the same way as I do towards her.
I'm happy that you've found a life you enjoy living. I will enjoy my life as well. This life of mine will be with somebody I am in love with.
All the best for your future endeavors!
your Piggy-no-more
Here I am, recalling the times when I was a teenager.. reminiscing those good old days when my friends and I were so into English songs because they were all so meaningful. The melodies are so tender and the lyrics are so powerful. Although there are still many English songs these days that have wonderful lyrics, the melodies cannot be compared to those that were like.. 8 to 10 years ago as they sound really good and nostalgic at the same time. Now we can seriously look back at some of those music and say, "Yeah! That is what we call - CLASSIC!" Indeed, they are.
I remember during the transition between my primary and secondary school days, I used to listen to Michael Learns to Rock (MLTR). Back then, they were my favorite band 'cos every song from them is just so nice, well at least to me. As I started tuning in to their songs again, it truly reminded me so much about all that I've been through back in those days. Here's one of their songs from their much later album right after Søren's departure from the band to pursue his individual career. I love this song and it's been playing in mind the whole afternoon...
Enjoy! ^_^
Will be back...
March 07, 2007
These days are quite busy for me. So many notes to read up and so little time. Furthermore, I've got to work as well. It's a part time job that pays well and has similar background to what I'm studying right now. Hence, I'm not letting that job go just like that. I'm currently juggling both my part-time career and my full-time study It's still manageable though, so guyz.. don't have to worry. I'm not complaining that much anyway... since deep in my heart, I really long to have someone to love and hold. That just goes to show that I can even juggle three things all at once! Work, study, relationship. Or, make it even better - Church; studies; work; friends; relationship.
Boy! I'm REALLY multitasking now.
I do feel lonely at times. But then that just lasted for a few seconds before God fills me with His presence and His reassurance that I would find someone who feels the same way I feel towards her. There are so many things going on in my mind lately.
Is she the one? Does she likes me as well? Will she give me a chance to love her? Am I able to help her grow spiritually and emotionally if we ever come together? Can I give her security even though I know I'm secure in many areas? Have I gotten rid of my emotional baggage or has she?
I don't know much. But all I know is.. whenever I start to feel a sense of freedom and peace within my heart even when she doesn't give so much attention to me, I knew then that I've finally become emotionally stronger and secure this time 'round. Whatever it is... I'm trusting God to bring me to the right person. He knows my desires.. so, people out there.. you can say anything good or bad. BUT GOD STILL HAS THE FINAL SAY. If one day I'm with someone again, that will be the day that God has answered my prayers.
I will find her. And she will have me. ALL OF MY HEART!
March 05, 2007
After recovering from the agony of having my brown bag, which my ex-gf gave me stolen, I came to realize that it's time for me to move on in life without her presence. She had been a very encouraging girlfriend when we were together. She was very supportive and always never failed to make me smile. All that, I will cherish them within the pit of my memory forever. If one day we were to meet again, I hope we can still say "hi" to each other.
I spent the entire day yesterday searching for my bag that has the closest resemblance to my previous bag my ex-gf gave me, 'cos I really love the design. However, I saw one that has the closest resemblance but as you know, nothing could ever replace what I've lost (not the person, but rather, it's the item). I don't want a substitute.. but I know that's the design I wanted and so, I bought that bag. It's painful to lose something dear to you. But when you know that it is something you always wanted, then at least get something closest to it. That would make you feel better. Or if not, at least it makes you feel more comfortable.. as if you've not lost it.
I bought myself a new pencil case too, 'cos I lost that together with my bag. Worse, my real glasses are inside that freakin' bag too! Some bastards stole it away while I wasn't looking. STUPID PEOPLE!!! THESE CRAP-HEADS ARE NOTHING BUT BODIES COVERED WITH HALF-F**KED SEMEN! I HOPE GOD WILL CAUSE A TRUCK TO RUN THEM OVER REPEATEDLY TILL THEIR ORGANS ERUPTS ALL OVER THE ROAD! Nonetheless, I managed to find the same design at the Wallet Shop. Thank God! This at least put my heart at ease. And tonight, I may be going to make another new pair of glasses. Haiz... well, it seems like the old has passed away and I'm welcoming the new. Great.. hopefully I can welcome a new girl in my life too. Hmmz...
I got myself those stationery today after school and also bought myself a new cap. As usual, to view the enlarged version of the images, click on the thumbnails.
Hahaha.. I took almost an hour to figure out the right kind of cap that suits me. This, I guess is the best I could find so far, in my own opinion.
Alright! Gotta go revise my course work now.. will be back for more blogging!
March 03, 2007
Some self-reflections I've done today and this is what I've reflected upon for the pass few months of my life: -
1. I've been really arrogant. And proud to an extent of not accepting certain truth about myself from other people who are trying to help me.
2. I've been selfish. Self-centered not only towards my own needs but also a prolonged focus upon my image as well.. on how I look and always concern about how I'd look in front of others. Can't believe these days I'm just so.. 爱美.
3. I've not been understanding enough towards other people. Time and again i tried being understanding.. but I just don't know why I'm just so insensitive. Well, I know I'm not the Sensitive New Age Guy (SNAG), but I really hope I can be more understanding in future.
4. I've not been sowing into people's live. I was so busy with mine and other desires of my heart. And along the way, I forgot that meeting the needs of others is just as essential towards success. I've been so wrong.. please forgive me.
5. I'm just so lost right now. I want to love.. be it loving anyone or God Himself, but feel a little bit tired.. probably because of my pass hurts and rejections. But I still believe that if I love God, I'll not be disappointed. God has a future planned out for me and He brings people in my life that will help me. Not just that, many of them are not angels sent by Him. Most of them are people who are lost like me right now. Many of them needs God. Many of them just wanna be friends with me.
Why can't I be friendlier? Why can't I be more like God? Why can't I open myself to welcome strangers into my life?
Has my heart turned cold? Has my heart become hardened? I'm longing for some sunshine in my life again.
Anyway... this is to my soon-to-be girlfriend.. whoever you are, wherever you are:
I don't know your name, yet. Because I don't know who you may be. You could be the one I'm in contact with or you could be the one that I've yet to meet one day. Whatever it is, I'm feeling really down right now. Do you know?.. I really wish that you were by my side. Because I know that if you were mine, you'd bring sunshine into my life like what I used to experience a long time ago. I would also like to bring that same sunshine into your life too.. if you let me. Although I know that we have not acknowledged each other, but when the time comes, I'll know who you are. I love you.
To God,
You have been the Light of my life. I wanna bring this same light into others as well. Help me deal with my flaws and bondages that is keeping me from moving to the next level. Help me deal with my bad habits and addictions. Keep me away from any harm as much as possible. Surround me with the favors of men and guard my belongings.
I will honor You with my giving, my offerings and all that I can do unto others. I will bless others according to how much You have blessed me. I will be an overcomer and I believe I will rise to the next level as I continue to put my faith, trust and hope in You alone.
Lord, build me up into a man who can be able to lead well within a relationship and a man of courage as well. I hereby ask of You, that You'd give me wisdom, discernment, courage, and Godly confidence. I want to be remembered as someone who is not just talented, pleasant-looking, knowledgeable and a Distinction-student, but caring towards others as well. After all, my goal in life is to be a counseling psychologist. Helping others includes helping ourselves in the first place. But I'm not doing this with my own strength, for I know my God is with me, and I shall not fear or be anxious about what is to come.
I love U Lord..
The land freezes over time. Darkness engulfs the entire territory where the catastrophe has recently occurred. Paradise has shrunken to mere filth and decay. Layers after layers of snow kept the best part of that town buried. Slightly wounded, the ice prince scouted for an exit but found himself trapped within the layers of harsh winter blocks.
Still, he continues searching for the exit to rebuild his princedom once again. Saddened by his princess' passing, he pressed on towards his destiny. And his destiny lies at the end of that snowy cave of where he is.. The quest is long and tiresome. The road seems to be harsh and so filled with agony. Above the snow-covered basement of the fallen empire, the people yelled at the top of their voices, "The prince has fallen! The prince has fallen!"
O where has he gone to? We don't know. But the princess has left for a better world. It is such a sad day. A sad time for everyone.
Nobody knew what the prince was up to. Nobody knew just where he was. And soon, his people have forgotten about him - his smile; his presence; his authority. Nobody understands him already. The empire.. crushed, but waiting to be reborn.
Only time will tell. Only time will tell.
When will the prince be able to turn this fallen empire into a thriving city again? After his wounds have been healed. After he finds his way out. After he meets his new princess who would be with him through the seasons and would stay faithful to him.
O cheer, you people! Do not feel sad, for the prince has a vision of a brighter future ahead. This land will once again be his, his God's and his lover's. He knows someone out there loves him and is too, searching for his kind soul.
But O where is she? Where is she?
Now. The prince collapsed and on knees, he cried out, "I'll take this quest along with me. And if someone else's heart ever belongs to me, O Lord, just tell her how much I love her.. even if I never make it out here alive. But my love will never die..."
Exhausted, the ice prince slumped onto the abrasive snow unconscious...
March 01, 2007
My exam result has finally been released at midnight according to the Australian timezone. I got a Distinction for my Psychology 1A Paper I sat this semester!!! WOOHOO!!! WHEE~!!!
Click image to enlarge.
It's an enormous improvement from the previous semester. In fact, I did it without the help of someone dear to me. I thought I would lose track of my studies because I lost somebody special and dear to me who's always there by my side. But I was wrong. I'm stronger than I expected. And it also turned out that I'm more capable than I originally expected. Thanks to God as well. You have always been so good to me. There's nothing I could ever do to repay You. I can't die on the cross because that, to me, is impossible. So, without You, I am nothing.
I hereby give all the praise and glory to God for the good works He has done not just to me, but to everyone He chooses to bless. Last year, 1st of March, I was blessed with a wonderful girl in my life. This year, on the same day, I am blessed again by the result I always expected to get. March 1st... I'll always remember. Let this day be the day of miracles. But also, everyday be the day of miracles. I want to see who is it who has been waiting for me out there...
I know you are... but it's just a matter of... where are you.
