Initial: Frederick
Profession: Psychology Undergraduate
Birthday: days left
Height: 1.76m
Weight: 63kg
Blood Type: A+
Waist size: 29-30 inches
Hobbies: Blogging; Reading; Songs & Movies; Chill out
Talent: Writing; Acting; Singing; Accents
Favourite Food:
Italian Food;
Kimchi Chigae;
Roti Prata
Most Disliked Food: Anything crustacean - due to allergy
Favourite Songs to Sing to: For You (self-composed) & The Promise
Favourite Body Parts: Nose; Jaws
Schools: Pei Chun Public School (1989 - 1995); Chong Boon Secondary School (1996 - 1999); Nanyang Polytechnic (2000 - 2003); Monash University (2006 - )
Current Pursuit: Bachelor of Behavioural Science
Research Interest: Evolutionary Psychology
Other Interests: Evolution; Genetics
Contact:
frederikan@live.co.uk
February 05, 2007
3 more days to my Psychology exam.
Urgh... preparations have been going quite smoothly as planned. But some little distractions here and there. No matter, it's okay. I'm doing fine now, focusing on what I should be doing at this point in time.
Maddy's cell group leader spoke to her yesterday morning and told her to give the both of us 3 weeks of break from each other ever since the night I told Maddy the truth. It may seem quite unnatural for her to feel so happy and free when we finally broke up after 10 days of being together. I guess the both of us did not really sort out our feelings. But what the heck? There wasn't any bit of feeling in the first place. All along, she has been treating me more like a big brother than a proper boyfriend. I came to know this truth last Saturday night. And for me? Though I've come to term with my sadness about my previous break up, I still love my squidy. So, there's a bad power circle here between Maddy and I. And hence, the break. However, the truth we confessed last Saturday had indeed set the both of us free. And we are now even closer as friends! Really like to have made a friend who cares so much about my life. It really inspires me to be a good friend to others as well. And I'm still working on it.
Well, as the leaders are wise, they would advise us to do the right thing. So Maddy's leader made her promise not to meet me for 3 weeks. Which is bad, 'cos we planned to go out as friends for some retail therapy after my exams. I seriously need clothes and a postman cap! My hair's getting longer. Soon I might just get it done Korean style. lolx.. Anyway, I can still meet up with my other brothers in the cell.
It's good to be in the cell group filled with nice people who genuinely care for you and be there for you whenever you need them. Those are your real friends. That's what makes the church a unique and wonderful place to be in. It's not just an education center; neither it is a motivational auditorium, nor is it a place to seek refuge. Rather, it is a place where people go not just for the presence of God, but for the relationships that we are building over there. So, I realized how important it is to be really close to your leaders and the people in your cell group. Everyone must play their part to make the cell group a better place to be in and to dwell in. It's a really challenging team effort I must say. I repeat, the people in the cell group are YOUR real friends.
I felt so much better after the confession to God and to everyone around me. I realized that wearing a mask and trying to act tough isn't the right way because I'd only be deceiving myself and hurting others that is around me. Well, one may feel astonished as how quickly I changed overnight but all I can say is that it is the power and the work of the Holy Spirit. We all learn through many different means. And because I'm not a perfect person, God is always giving me second chances. That is God's grace. And I'm glad God has been a tremendous lover in my life. And I really thank Him for all that he has done in me.
I just received a word that:
All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
I have a purpose to fulfill in this lifetime. And I'm trusting God for it to prepare me for the great things that I yet to do for Him. I thank God for a wonderful friend like Maddy who encourages me to focus on the Lord as much as I can. I would do my best to love God just like the way I love Xiu Wen. And I believe that when the time comes, He would bless me with what I truly desire in my heart right now. I know that my time here is short. But there is still heaven. That is the eternity that I would see my blessings, rewards and desires which may or may not come to pass in this earth and in this life time. I know and believe that God will give me what I truly truly desire if I seek His Kingdom first.
.. seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:6)
... love one another as I have loved you.
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.
You are my friends if you do whatever I command you.
No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.
You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you shall go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. (John 15:12-16)
I have finally found a friend in Jesus. Read these verses today and tears just flow from my eyes like I've never cried in a long time. So what now? Like what my guardian angel told me: Turn my tombstone into a stepping stone. I've made many mistakes but God is always willing to forgive and give me a second chance. I don't want to make up for all that I've not done or done that are not right in His eyes. But I believe, His grace shall be upon me as I trot on becoming a better person He wants me to be. Still, my Desire have not changed. But I believe that if focusing on God right now is what it takes for me receive my one and ONLY desire, I would do it.
And it shall come to pass!
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