Initial: Frederick
Profession: Psychology Undergraduate
Birthday: days left
Height: 1.76m
Weight: 63kg
Blood Type: A+
Waist size: 29-30 inches
Hobbies: Blogging; Reading; Songs & Movies; Chill out
Talent: Writing; Acting; Singing; Accents
Favourite Food:
Italian Food;
Kimchi Chigae;
Roti Prata
Most Disliked Food: Anything crustacean - due to allergy
Favourite Songs to Sing to: For You (self-composed) & The Promise
Favourite Body Parts: Nose; Jaws
Schools: Pei Chun Public School (1989 - 1995); Chong Boon Secondary School (1996 - 1999); Nanyang Polytechnic (2000 - 2003); Monash University (2006 - )
Current Pursuit: Bachelor of Behavioural Science
Research Interest: Evolutionary Psychology
Other Interests: Evolution; Genetics
Contact:
frederikan@live.co.uk
January 17, 2007
This morning I awoke with a deep shock on my face. Not just that, the pounding of my heart can even be heard. My mind felt dizzy and my heart broke. I was too disappointed with my subconscious, which is making a fool of me. Or rather, it was my unconscious mind that produce such thoughts.
I dreamed of my ex again. This time, it was even more real than before. She was right next to me, but we have already broken up so we were talking like friends. But a moment later, she became more friendly and out of the blue, we kissed. This whole episode was like a reconciliation drama that drew me fascinated the whole night and day while sleeping in my comfortable bed. I wouldn't want to wake up to this
real world where everything is now over. I wouldn't want to wake up to this time of the day when I knew I should be moving on. Instead, I somehow wish that I could remain in my dreams forever and ever, and never wake up to see the light again.
Somehow, I wish that I would be dead... or, to put it simply, I wish I could rest in peace and be at no where other than the place where I can be with her.. together.
Somehow, I wish that she will come back to me.. renew her thoughts and trust me again. I wish the
99 wishes I had will come true again. I wish God could bring me into this wonderful episode of my life once again and let me re-live it once more. I want to rewind and be in that place of comfort because right now, I'm breaking down inside of me. And I can think of nothing.. do nothing.. see nothing.. feel nothing.. except being in a blank state of coma. My soul is now empty... longing to relive those sweet memories once again... waiting for those days to come again... wishing hard for them to appear again.
I can smell blood oozing from my soul... a soul redeemed but has lost its summer shine. I could not smile as easily as before. Somebody has told me that I have sad eyes and eyes that look tired or lazy. Although I know I have to move on, but those sweet episodes in my life will never be forgotten. They will stay with me till the day I die. And right now, there's no one else that I love besides God... and her.
Somehow or rather, I felt that she's the one for me even when my mind tells me to deny it. But I don't want her to be tied down. I want to set her free and give her happiness. I don't hate her anymore because I came to realize that she needs her time and space. I don't want to be her friend. I want to be the right one for her. But if she ever find someone who can give her happiness, then I would be happy too. I remembered that these words are what I actually said to her when we were together. And as a man, I do keep my words. I mean everything I say... even when I told her how much I really love her.
I would wait for her, even in my dreams.
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.: Renaissance
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Snow-covered Territory
.: 冰世界
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.: 冰世界2
(01/2007 - 06/2007)
Bardic Circle IV
.: Infinity
(07/2007 - )
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