Initial: Frederick
Profession: Psychology Undergraduate
Birthday: days left
Height: 1.76m
Weight: 63kg
Blood Type: A+
Waist size: 29-30 inches
Hobbies: Blogging; Reading; Songs & Movies; Chill out
Talent: Writing; Acting; Singing; Accents
Favourite Food:
Italian Food;
Kimchi Chigae;
Roti Prata
Most Disliked Food: Anything crustacean - due to allergy
Favourite Songs to Sing to: For You (self-composed) & The Promise
Favourite Body Parts: Nose; Jaws
Schools: Pei Chun Public School (1989 - 1995); Chong Boon Secondary School (1996 - 1999); Nanyang Polytechnic (2000 - 2003); Monash University (2006 - )
Current Pursuit: Bachelor of Behavioural Science
Research Interest: Evolutionary Psychology
Other Interests: Evolution; Genetics
Contact:
frederikan@live.co.uk
December 28, 2006
Dec 26th. Boxing Day. Squidy and I broke up.
It was a rally sudden move she made and there's nothing I could do about it.
I cried myself to sleep every night and now I'm still trying to get over her. Meanwhile, I'm looking around for my friends' support for my weak soul. I'm feeling powerless and I'm in the deepest valley of my life. I hope people will understand why I'll suddenly cry without reason. I hope they will not be shocked, or surprised. I don't want to feel this way but somehow, I just couldn't bring myself back up on my feet despite so many prayers and so many times I try to forget this relationship.
My heart is so broken and I just wish that my friends will seriously be near me right now giving me all the love they can. I pray that my God will give me strength to move on, as well as the courage to do the things I yet to do myself.
I thought of giving this blog a temporary hiatus. There's nothing more to write about now that the most important person in my life is gone.
I felt like dying and many times I felt like being in a coma so as to forget all that I've gone through. This is very torturing and very painful. It's just painful to me that I just wanna tear my heart open and gash it. I feel numb. I feel like a dead person all of a sudden.
There's nothing left. Nothing left but God. And if God is for me, then where is He? I want to feel His presence and be loved over again. I'm staggering myself towards Him and I hope He will heal my brokenness. I fear I can never walk again because this part of me is dying.
Right now, I had no clue just where to start in my journey as a single... who's being attached for a long time. I felt helpless. I felt cheated. I felt that Squidy had just taken me for a ride. I'm just so disappointed in her. I'm so heart-broken with the attitude she showed me regarding our relationship. We could work it out, but then she chose to give it up. There's nothing left that I can do, except to cry.
I will never forget this episode of my life. It's worse than any sickness that I've gone through and worse than any other tragedy that will ever happen to me. It hurts me without anesthetic and my eyes are wide opened. This is worse than any biopsies I've gone through in hospital. This is the worst episode in my life and I'm desperately crying out for God's hands to love me and to shelter me from this storm.
I hope He will come true to me. And I hope I will get on with my life as fast as possible and after that, and only then, will I come back to write this blog again. Till then, this is
Gi Jung signing off...
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