October 22, 2006
Watched World Trade Center last wednesday with the brothers from my Cell Group. It was a great show. Quite touching. And it really does make me feel like I'm at the scene of tragedy. 5 years now (since September 11th). It's sad to see such man-made calamity occuring at such a setting. Somehow, I have this sense of empathy for those who were there back then, running for their lives. And those trapped under the pile debris. Man! Surviving would be a miracle. This show made me think. It made me an anti-terrorist. I felt closer to the people around me now. And as for my girlfriend, I will cherish her every moment and every second of my life. Because I've learned that everything is possible when nothing extraordinary is perceived as possible. You'll never know what will happen to those you love. It's always good to cherish them before you know they're gone. Therefore, this movie acted as an agent that spurred me on to truly treasure relationships and try not to take things for granted.
If Squidy was there watching this show with me, she'd understand why I felt this way. But no matter, I love my Squid. I think she's the cutest God-made angel in my life. And God bless her. hehex
Anyway, here's something to entertain you.
I want you to focus on this moving spiral for 1 minute, or if you like, 90 secs. Try focusing on the center the portion of it.
After the time is up, I want you to take a look at your right palm. Let me know what happen. Have fun! hehex
This is what I call... magic!
October 18, 2006
Study... study and study...
Stress... pressure... sense of urgency.
I'm in the library sinning. Yea.. I'm playing with my blog right now even though I should find a decent place to study. Somehow, nothing seems to be absorbed into my mind right now and I'm freakin' tired. My eyes are sleepy and I feel lethargic.
I can't motivate myself to even focus properly although exam is just a week from now. I'm nervous, stressed and at the same time hopeful. I pray I'll do well with at least a credit this exam. As for my Comms, I don't know but, I guess I'll be contented with a pass since my essays were marked down so terribly by one of those bitches in Australia. Pssft...
Anyway, I'm trying to get over this shit feeling of not wanting to study. To admit the truth, I started feeling demoralized after the RDA incident and felt that was the most stupid thing I had ever done.
I need lots of prayer people. Please pray for me. I need the strength these days to study harder for my exam. Also, I really need wisdom to do my work. I've been so busy and I guess I had lesser time with God too. It's not that I wanted too but, I'm very stressed over what had happened and it's terrible that I had to finish clearing this mess up.
By the way, I'll be switching degree and I don't know if this application is successful. If it is, thankfully, I would be fine. Currently, Comms and Psychology are my majors and I just want to get rid of Comms as it's the harder unit to do well in. It's not that I'm afraid of challenges, but rather, I do not want to gamble my degree away, especially when it costs my dad an inheritance. And if you want to know what degree I'll be switching to, it's Bachelor of Behavioural Science with a Psychology major.
So you see, I'm a great investment for the future, and I want to invest in my knowledge for Psychology, which is one area of my interest. I just pray the appeal would be a successful one, otherwise, I do not know how am I going to cope for the next three years of hell. Please pray for me in this area as well. I really wanted the new degree.
What a valley this time! It doesn't stop coming, so I'm pretty used to it. Thank God He's my source whom I can draw my strength from. I'd be worse if I hadn't have Jesus.
October 15, 2006
Finally I got to blog after one week of being busy finalizing my assignments.
And now, it's Sunday. There are less than two more weeks before I sit for my exams this semester. Sigh.. and I had to really study hard for the entire week after this. I'm still in a birthday mood even though it's over for about 9 days now. I've been slacking in my revision. Oh manz, this is bad. Gotta bark up.
Anyway, got a DISTINCTION for my second Journalism assignment again! Hooray!!! I'm pretty confident that this unit might just be my only unit with a Distinction this semester. Well, at least better than none! Even if I didn't do as great for my last assignment, which I've just handed in, I think I still might get a Distinction. The last assignment was worth 40 percent of my Journalism unit. And I can't believe the marking was lenient for the second piece of work. Hmm.. we'll see for the last piece of assignment then. If I get 24 out of 40 for the last assignment, I'm set for a Distinction! That's how good my score is. And funny how I could do so well for my Journalism when my language structure and other forms of grammatical issues need improvement. God knows how high I'd score if my English was like Queen's English! Woot~! Hahax
Okay la. Time for ME to boast around for a little while since I'm so deprived from all these excellent results and SWEET taste of victory since I was younger. You all gotta excuse me mah. When I was in primary school, my grades were no where better. I was always behind the class in terms of position. When I reached secondary school, my grades were better, but it doesn't take me into Junior College, which I longed so much to be enrolled in. When I was doing my National Service, I've never reached an excellent physical level to compete with others in going to OCS to be trained into officers. When I was doing my part-time job in Sitel, I've never once became recognised to being one Shift Leader myself.
So NOW!!!! NOW NOW NOW!!! In my studies, I GOTTA WORK HARD!!! SCORE HARD!!! WHACK HARD!!! WIN HARD!!! To obtain all that I've never done before in my life. And to do something so much more extraordinary in this time of my life. If I ever get to do my honours or masters, this time of my life, would then be known as the Golden Age - the Prime of my Supremacy. Hahahaha... this is my blog people. I can say whatever I like and whatever I think of or have in my heart and that no one has ever got to hear. So well... this is my desire. This is my desire to do something that I can be proud of myself, God could be honoured, my parents could be proud of, my rivals.. don't even mention about them. Hahahax.. and I'm not saying a word of it anyway.
Work today... I mean, study. Hehehex. I'm too psycho to study yesterday 'cos of my excellent results and birthday + holiday mood. Hmm.. so I'll start with my Comms revision. But before that, maybe I'll just do some online questionaire for my last Psychology Interlearn assignment. Cool! I'm off to knock myself out to sleep!
Nitez!
October 08, 2006
I've received an email from my previous cell group leader. It's a quiz he sent me and its title: The 5 Love Languages.
I've taken the test. And before that, I speculated that two of the love languages I need most are Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. Of course, Physical Touch came after that according to my prediction. Here are the explanations for each love language, just in case you don't have any idea what are they:
Words of AffirmationVerbal compliments, or words of appreciation are powerful communicators of love. They are best expressed in simple, straightforward statements of affirmation such as: "You look great in that suit", "Do you ever look nice in that dress." Every time someone does something good, give him/her a verbal compliment.
The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well being of the one you love. It is a fact that when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate.
Another dialect of affirming words is encouraging words. The word encourage means " to inspire courage". All of us have areas in which we feel insecure. That insecurity hinders us from accomplishing the positive things that we would like to do. The latent potential in our areas of insecurity may await someone uttering encouraging words to us.
Quality TimeBy quality time we mean giving someone your undivided attention. A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. Two people sitting in the same room are in close proximity, but they are not necessarily together. Togetherness has to do with focused attention. When a father is sitting on the floor, rolling a ball to his 2 year old, that brief moment, however long it last, they are together. However, if the father is talking on the phone while he rolls the ball, his attention is diluted.
Quality time does not mean that we have to spend our together moments gazing into each other's eyes. The activity in which we are both engaged is incidental. The important thing emotionally is that we are spending focused time with each other The activity is a vehicle that creates the sense of togetherness. The important thing about the father rolling the ball to the 2 year old is not the activity itself, but the emotions that are created between the father and the child.
Giving & Receiving GiftsA gift is something you can hold in your hand. It is not the thought implanted only in the mind that counts, but the thought expressed in actually securing the gift and giving it as the expression of love. You must be thinking of someone to give that person a gift. The gift is a symbol of that thought. It doesn't matter whether it costs money. What is important is that you thought of that person. Gifts are visual symbols of love. Visual symbols of love are more important to some people than others. Because symbols do have emotional value.
Gifts come in all sizes, colors and shapes. Some are expensive and others are free. To the individual whose primary love language is receiving gifts, the cost of the gift will matter little, unless it is greatly out of line with what you can afford.
Acts of ServiceBy acts of service, it is meant doing things you know that your friend/spouse would like you to do. You seek to please him/her by serving them. Such actions include washing dishes, taking out the garbage, changing the baby's diaper, raking the leaves, walking the dog, vacuuming the carpet, etc. These activities require thought, planning, energy and effort. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love. Sometimes you may make requests for acts of service to be carried out.
Requests can give direction to love, but demands can stop the flow of love. You can give guidance to love by making requests: "I wish you could wash the care, mow the grass, change the baby's diaper", etc. But remember that you cannot create the will to love. Each of us must decide daily to love or not to love. If we choose to love, then expressing it in the way in which our friend/spouse requests will make our love most effective emotionally.
Physical TouchWe have long known that physical touch is a way of communicating emotional love. Numerous research projects in the area of child development have made that conclusion: Babies that are held, hugged and kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact. The importance of touching children is not a modern idea. The first century, the Hebrews living in Palestine, recognizing Jesus as the great teacher, brought their children to Him "to have him touch them." Wise parents in any culture are touching parents.
Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate love or hate. A slap in the face is detrimental to any child but it is devastating to a child whose primary love language is touch. A tender hug communicates love to any child, but it shouts love to the child whose primary love language is physical touch. The same is true for adults.
Physical touch is also a powerful vehicle for communicating marital love. Holding hands, kissing, embracing are all ways of communicating emotional love to one's spouse. For those whose primary love language is physical touch, without it they feel unloved. With it, their emotional tank is filled and they feel secure in the love of their spouse.
Alright, I've done the test and it seems like I'm pretty hard to please. Sorry girls! But that's just the way I am. Take it or leave it. Oops! I forgot, I'm taken. HAHAHAx!
Okay, here're the results:
06 out of 12 = Words of Affirmation
11 out of 12 = Quality Time
01 out of 12 = Giving/Receiving Gifts
06 out of 12 = Acts of Service
06 out of 12 = Physical Touch
So, my hypothesis about my performance wasn't really accurate, but it did said something about "Quality Time" which I've always been longing for, especially in a relationship. Of course, Physical touch, Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service are crucial in making me feel loved.
Besides longing for some words of affirmation and desiring some thoughtful aids from my girlfriend, I would also love to be hugged, kissed and touched by her. All these are just so important to me. As for gifts, nah... I had lots of toys and got whatever I wanted since young and up till now, I think I'm still too spoilt for choice. Thus, giving gifts to me doesn't really make a slight difference, really, though I would still be moved by one's sincerity and kindness.
Well, what can I say? What's more important to me is still undivided attention. I just love the way a girl would listen to me attentively as if I'm the only person speaking the most sensible topic on earth. Hahax. Just kidding. A listening ear is what I truly like to see in a woman. She may talk a lot, but when it's my turn, I expect undivided attention.
I'd love to go places together with her; do things together; enjoy our time together, and all these are what makes me feel better as a whole individual. All my life I've always been keeping to small groups people whom I'm familiar with and most of the time, I do things alone. Some may think I'm a loner (Hey, I go to movies alone most of the time). But I've got a little bit of friends here and there, so that's way off from being a loner. Anyway... what the hell... it's a long story if I were to explain myself. It all started when I was a little boy then.
All I need to feel in a relationship is that we're together. The togetherness is a very crucial ingredient to be present in order for me to feel loved and somewhat, MORE secure.
Curious of where I took this test? Here, you may click on this
LINK and try it yourself for some fun. Enjoy!
October 05, 2006
This is the day I became God's wonderful creation. Time really flies and I'm now a year older. It would be another 365 days before age catches up with me again. Looking back, it's really a tough journey that I've undergone. 23 years of tears, joy and pain.
The rain and storms were over.
Mistakes made.
Lessons learned.
Happiest times enjoyed.
The truest and wonderful moments in my life then, cherished.
I would not say I've succeeded, nor failed terribly to be the man God wants me to be. But I realized that throughout this journey, 23 years of my life, success is not a destination. It is NEVER a destination. I can never get enough of it. Whenever I had a taste of victory, I would taste failures and defeats along with it. So what about the irony of life? I believe that defeats are excellent teachers and success is a puffer - it puffs me up and before I know it, I have to be educated by the Teacher of Life.
I cannot say that I'm totally happy with my life so far. I've had my share of mistakes, regrets and many failures. I wonder how many times must I fail in order to advance to the next level of my life. I wonder how many regrets must I keep in order to learn my lesson well and educate others the similar way, instead of letting them follow my footsteps. I wonder how many mistakes must I make to become a better man. I'm too arrogant, I'm too sure of myself. I'm too short-tempered. I have too many short-comings!
Friends, if you were to know me for 23 years, just like my parents do, you'd not like me. Because I'm not what you see; I'm not what you hear; I'm not what you perceive nor felt... nor understand - my character; my personality; my thoughts; my motto... everything. The man you see me now, is the result of timeless persecutions, anguish, grief, pains, anger and rejections. Yet, the strength that kept me moving on is the strength that I draw not from myself, but from God my Lord. The love that touched me cannot compare with the love is received in this world, but the unconditional love God has showered upon me. The hope I see is the vision that God has given me. The faith I'm holding on to, is the trust I have in God myself. It's all because of HIM that made me alive today. It's all because of HIM I have my second chance to live a life of purpose and destiny. It's in HIM I found the Love; the Strength; the Wisdom; the Courage and the Hope of the Future. Without HIM, I am nothing.
Two years have passed since my official recovery from NHL. The recuperation is slow but I'm doing okay. Woot!~ Three more years before I can truly celebrate the impossibility of any future relapses! Wait.. that's after my graduation too! Hahaha... it's just so great! This blog - I officially declare - will be up as long as I'm still alive and kicking. It was founded during the start of my most terrible moments in my life story; the darkest valley I've ever crossed and that nobody would ever comprehend.
Today's my birthday. It's the time of my life that God will be glorified. I shall renew my vision and move on to achieve my greatest desire for the society. Some birthday resolutions: ~
1. Draw closer to God in daily prayer and experience with Him.
2. Study harder for the Summer (Australian summer), though Distinctions are hardly achievable this semester.
3. Read more books to gain more knowledge of Psychology and the world.
4. Love and cherish my girlfriend more and more each day.
5. Make for friends, hopefully they are more accepting this time.
6. Keep fit by exercising and continuing my tennis lessons.
7. Be a better man (A man by birth, and a man by choice).
Thanks to all my friends and relatives who wished me a Happy Birthday today. I pray that you guyz would be blessed this coming new year as well. The year is ending in less than three months. Whatever things you've screwed up, or murdered, or messed up, this is the time to move on and finish this year with no regrets. The new year will be a better year for all of us, I believe.
God bless ya all!!!
October 03, 2006
My heart's a little troubled.
How could I have made such stupid mistake?!
Careless... reckless... dumb... stupid... me..
Should have read the instructions of my RDA assessment! And now I have to send an emergency e-mail to Monash and beg them to give me a second attempt. Left that damn thing on for hundreds of hours stupidly thinking that the timing will stop at the point I close the window. I was really too sure of myself...!
Lord! I pray they'll reply me with a positive yes. This unit means alot to me and I deserve to score well, at least a Distinction for it! I pray thee... please, have mercy on me and let there be a miracle tomorrow...
Right now I'm sleepless... I'm anxious... I'm terribly troubled. My heart felt like exploding. Lord, do you hear me?
I'm in a desperate position! HELP!
October 01, 2006
Today is a very special day for me. While the kids are enjoying their Children's Day celebration, I celebrated my 23rd birthday, which falls on the fifth of this month. Hurray! Finally my birthday doesn't fall in the middle of my exams... this is something I feel ecstatic about too. hehex..
Let's begin the tale of TODAY. lolx.
I woke up early in the morning with aches in eyes simply because I just couldn't get enough of sleep, especially on a peaceful weekend like this. The thought of awaking up for some real surprises got me excited.
What was Squidy up to these days? I was about to find out then.
Church was great.
Squidy had headaches and I had morning glory in my eyes plus the hardwork I was trying to focus on the sermon this morning. For the entire morning and noon, I never ceased praying for Squidy's headache to recover and it did!
Praise God and we had a really great day today!
We had fun eating at the Soupspoon outlet in Raffles City. Today's meal was an exceptional case where we spent more than what we usually do. Both of us each had a Grande-sized Velvety Mushroom set and some side dishes, and we regretted our choice as we had trouble finishing our meal later on. Darn..! Should have ordered the regular size soup! But our meal was filling enough, but what's really important was that we did enjoy our date very much, as usual. heex...
But a few hours later, Squidy executed her "secret plan". And I found out: She bought a cute little cake for me... AWwWwWwW..... this IS so SWEET! Take a look at this slice of cake she bought:
Doesn't it look good? It's a blueberry cake. And she knows I like blueberry... that's really thoughtful and loving of her. Suddenly, I felt like I'm the most fortunate man in this galaxy. Yeahz... I love my darling to bitz... And she gave me a card:
Now I'm the most fortunate man, not in the galaxy, but the universe! hahax... Alright alright, I'm exagerating... but she's the first and only lady I love most in my life who made my birthday an unforgetable and most romantic one. Thank you darling, you mean so so SO much to me. I love you this much:
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Yes. This much.
Here are some additional photos of our private celebration:
Hehex... the whole day was spent on food, merry making and not forgetting... SHOPPING!!! Yeah and Squidy bought a t-shirt for my birthday present. Thanks a lot darling! The t-shirt really looks cool. Here you go, the pic:
That's not all, I invited Squidy back home to have dinner with my folks and I received another surprise when I entered my room. Guess what I saw? A Creative MUVO mp3! Hmm... I thought it was from my sister as she kept mentioning about it to me these days, therefore I assumed that was her "hint". But I found out it was from my parents. Anyway, thank you all for your presents AND chocolate cake. Really appreciate it. Love ya all. That'll put my I-pod Nano Project on a halt for a period of time. All thanks to God! After so much of prayer and sowing into my offerings, one of my wishes of having an mp3 finally did come to pass! Really love you too God!
Here's the mp3 I got:
It was a superb birthday celebration for me this year. Squidy made it so memorable; my parents made it so wonderful; everyone was really great; and God, You are simply the BEST! YOU MADE IT HAPPEN! Without You, I would be nothing.
Thanks to my cell group brothers and sisters who had wished me a happy birthday...
Special thanks to my parents who made this birthday a
full-filling one for Xiu Wen and I. "Full-filling" as in FULL and FILLING one. Hahahax... yes we ate a lot! Squidy almost burst and become sotong bits. Me? I almost become pork chops all over the place. lolx
Special thanks to Squidy for celebrating this birthday with me. Birthdays mean a lot to me and having someone whom I love in my life to celebrate with makes me feel... I dunno... the feeling is too good to be described. I just can't say it with words.
GREATEST thanks to GOD my Lord for making such a wonderful creation like me to shine for You and not only that to discover my own potential as I progress in this lifetime. Really appreciate Your healing and everything You've done in my life! Praise be unto You God!
For other pictures, I would post them when I'm free as they were all in the hands of my lovely and beautiful Squid. hahax... Oh by the way, before I forget, Happy 7th Month Anniversary Squidy!
That's all for now! TataXxX...
