Well done, I'm stuck in the middle of my damn essay. I've written the introduction and am now stuck in the middle of nowheere, trying to think of what to write next. This is just great. I can't believe I could end up in such a state like this. So much about Comms and so much about wanting to do that freakin' unit, thinking it's within my strength. I'm partially wrong I guess. I just hate myself for overestimating me.

Don't ask me what am I going to do now, as I've no idea how to go on like this. My assignment's due this friday and I'm struggling for this essay that's worth 40% of the entire unit! Feel like crying now. feel so stressed. Besides,I want to complain about everything that's presented to me all this while, including the lecturer and the way the lessons were being carried out. EVERYTHING is SO SCREWED UP!!! I wanted to get a distinction for this unit but I guess all I could do now, is just aim for a credit, which seems as if it's going to be some hard work involved for the next two months or so.

Argh... why....?

I'm tearing myself apart right now and I'm best known for my anxiety disorders. This is way beyond control and I'm afraid I might go crazy soon. Call me stupid, but actually, I'm not the academic sort of person. I'd rather go to work and earn a living out there. Though it may be hard, but it's all worth it. The reason why I'm studying now is because I want to have a wider job options, so that not only I could get a job, but rather, get into a position. I'm not there just for money alone. I'm there for a purpose. Thus I made this effort to do the best I can in my studies right now.

But it's not easy. I'm sure my girlfriend knows about this. Part of me really felt like whining to her but I hate whiners. I hate the fact that I'm weak at times and that I need support, especially from the girl I love most. So I keep quiet about it and she still thinks I had an easier life than her, just because she's doing a double degree. In fact, I wonder if she understands my side of the story, in that I'm not satisfied with my qualification and wanted more for myself and my future. I'm doing all this despite of my inability to get the study facts in my head sometimes. I'm doing all this despite my limited knowledge of the units I'm taking. All this, is for a vision I hold.

Where are my friends? Where is everyone? Suddenly, I felt so alone...