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The impression forces itself upon one that men measure by false standards,
that everyone seeks power, success, riches for himself, and admires others
who attain them, while undervaluing the truly precious thing in life.
~ Sigmund Freud
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Initial: Frederick
Profession: Psychology Undergraduate
Birthday: days left
Height: 1.76m
Weight: 63kg
Blood Type: A+
Waist size: 29-30 inches
Hobbies: Blogging; Reading; Songs & Movies; Chill out
Most Disliked Food: Anything crustacean - due to allergy
Favourite Songs to Sing to: For You (self-composed) & The Promise
Favourite Body Parts: Nose; Jaws
Schools: Pei Chun Public School (1989 - 1995); Chong Boon Secondary School (1996 - 1999); Nanyang Polytechnic (2000 - 2003); Monash University (2006 - )
Finally, the weekend has come. And it's time for me to sort of take a break from my first lesson at TMC. Overall, my first day at TMC wasn't so bad as I've made a few friends and the environment is condusive enough for me to concentrate in class. Also, I realized that lecture halls back in my polytechnic with the size as big as the theatre is not a suitable place for me to pay full attention to what the speaker is talking about. Whereas, here in TMC, the classes are held in classroom-sized tutorial rooms which make it easier for me to listen effectively.
That said, my first Psychology lesson is pretty interesting.
Imagine this: You were walking on the street one day, and along the way, from a distance, you saw a an elderly man suddenly collapsed at the side of the pavement. There're quite a number of people walking along that street but none offered a helping hand.
If this incident happened here in Singapore, you locals may be wondering, "Hey, this is Singapore. And Singaporean's attitude and behaviour is like that. They don't give a damn of what's happening to people around them. Let alone giving to charity or giving some elderly people a helping hand." But after this lesson, what I learned actually impacted me in my thoughts, believe system and corrected my baseless assumptions about people (especially most Singaporeans).
Now the reason about why people didn't help that elderly man who collapsed at the side walk is because of one term - Bystander effect.
Bystander effect is the effect whereby the presence of others inhibits helping (Brehm,S.S. & Kassin,S.M., 1996, 3rd ed).
Sometimes, with too many people around, it can distract us, and divert our attention from any indication of someone's plight. Thus, the lesser the people around, the more help will be on its way. Why? Because if you are encountering such incident alone, you assume full responsibility of the victim's plight. On the other hand, if there're more people around, there will be diffusion of resonsibility.
Diffusion of responsibility often occurs whenever people are present at the scene of any emergency. It is the believe that others will or should intervene in times like this. But, it proved that no one stepped forward to offer a helping hand.
There're also many reasons which explains why people fail to help in any emergency. First, it is because emergencies occur very quickly and given the amount of time for one to define it, it is impossible to give immediate aid to anyone in times like this because we're all simply not prepared for it. Next, it is because by offering a helping hand, it could bring disruption to one's life. Nobody likes being disturbed by the police or the court. And nobody likes being a witness for something or someone they don't even know. Third, by helping, it could bring harm to oneself. Sometimes people are just afraid of getting involved in a fight themselves or even getting hurt when they choose to intervene a brawl or a heated argument. Lastly, people are also afraid of making a fool of themselves and therefore, avoid unnecessary embarrassment, and hence, refuse to help. Those who are worrying about making a bad impression on other observers will also be less likely to help, as they are under the influence of audience inhibition. They are just feeling socially awkward and embarrassed to act helpfully in public, thinking that others might scorn or mock them.
So when will people ever lend a helping hand?
There're two steps in the process of intervention. Firstly, they have to define the emergency, making sure that the elderly man is truly suffering instead of just lying around the street aimlessly. Also, they have to observe and perceive that victim's behaviour and reactions before jumping into any conclusion. Secondly, They have to assume responsibility to be able to report the incident. Unfortunately, when too many people are around, lesser help will be available to that poor elderly man. Instead, people might just be crowding around that poor guy and did absolutely nothing.
Of course, there're more from what I've learned so far. But all these are just the fundamentals. Interesting hur? Hehe.. you bet! And you know what? The next time round when you encounter such incident, don't think that only Singaporeans will crowd around the scene and do nothing to help. Don't be surprised to see ang mos in the crowd also.
However, I still feel that many Singaporeans are still UGLY in some ways. Maybe it's still an understatement.
I don't know. Hahaha... maybe FUGLY??? lolz
July 19, 2006
Your past life diagnosis:
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern New Guinea around the year 725. Your profession was that of a builder of houses, temples and cathedrals.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life: You had the mind of a scientist, always seeking new explanations. Your environment often misunderstood you, but respected your knowledge.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation: Your lesson is to study, to practice and to use the wisdom that lies within the psychological sciences and in ancient manuscripts. With strong faith and hard work you will reach your real destiny in your present life.
Although it's against my believe that past life does exist, I did this test for fun! You can email me to share with me what's yours. ;-p
July 16, 2006
What are the qualities are you looking for in a friend? This is one question you have to ask yourself before continuing any friendship bringing that relationship to another level. Why is that so? Simple.
Everywhere you go, there bound to be people around you. And the people you choose to talk to or mingle with can have a little impact on you. Deny no further, because people always influence each other. Whether you choose to be influenced or not, somehow or rather, there bound to be certain people will have an influence over you and your mentality.
Thus, it's always very important to decide who walks with you, and who must depart from you. Cruel as it may seem to be, but it's all for the sake of your well-being.
Firstly, I went to a forum (which I'll not reveal which one is it) to do a little survey. The title of my survey is "What Qualities of a Person Qualifies to be Your Friend?" Here are the respective relevant answers: -
"Loyalty"
"Honesty"
"Huh? Still wanna know their qualities before you decide whether you wanna befriend them?" (typical Singaporean attitude)
"Dedication to whatever course you embark on." (wrong spelling, it should be cause, again, a typical Singaporean spelling mistake)
"Understanding"
"Doesn't backstab"
"Trust"
"Willing to Sacrifice."
"Fun & exciting to be with."
"Someone who will not hessitate to give you negative comments or criticise your action for your own good. Also, someone who will help you or even brainstorm solutions and ideas for you."
Some of these statements make sense, but some of them are shallow.
Having a friend is like allowing that person come right into your heart and letting him/her revolve around you. Those people whom you choose to make friends will somehow be involved in your life, like it or not.
Loyalty is a good trait. No one likes being pushed aside only when bad things happen to them. Disloyalty in a friends makes you feel used and taken advantaged of. Good trait; but not a quality.
Honesty is a virtue. Everyone should develop that principle of being honest. However, this is simply not enough.
Qualities in a person is what everyone look for when finding a friend. To say that there's no need to look for criteria is simply very ignorant and rather, stupid or shallow - "Anything will do lah, can tok cok can liao". This is a typical immature Singaporean attitude I must say. Don't adopt such attitude. It's a big disgrace to the nation.
It's good finding someone who shares your ideals and vision. That's something sensible at last.
Being understanding is essential. Be quick to understand and seeking to understand rather than to be understood, is a good virtue to possess. Again, it's a good trait, but not a quality.
Who likes backstabbers? No one likes them. But what if someone doesn't backstab you, instead, they leave you when you are most in need. Isn't that just as bad? This answer is simply shallow.
Trust is a definite must in every relationship. But before building the trust, you need to find out if the people you're mingling with is worth your time or not. Or are they just a pain in the neck for you.
When someone is willing to sacrifice his time and money with you in the correct area is wise. When someone is willing to sacrifice his freedom for you, is foolish. Which one is it?
Fun and excitment won't last. If you're talking about one night stands or joining a gang, then I guess I'll agree with you.
Fellows, you need to decide what kind of people you want to be with and start looking out for such qualities. If you stick with people who are capable and talented, you'll be of high calibre and just as talented as they are. If you stick with people who are lazy and without an objective in their lives, you'll be a sloth and never will you be successful in life. If you want to soar like an eagle, don't mingle with turkeys.
After some experience with what goes on in my life, I decided to write down the important qualities, which I look for in a friend.
1. My friends must be commited to long-term relationship. 2. My friends must have a dream in life. 3. My friends must be sowers. 4. My friends must be able to receive what I sow into their lives. 5. My friends must have integrity. 6. My friends mustn't be afraid to confront my flaws and weaknesses. 7. My friends and I must be able to empower each other to succeed.
As long as all these qualities are found in anyone in your life, that person is indeed your true friend - be it your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend or parents.. they are your friends.
Because true friends are really very hard to come by, learn to cherish them while they're still alive.
July 14, 2006
With the caning punishment minimized in school these days, neighbourhood school students from all over this island are getting out of hand. And if such statement isn't enough to satisfy your eagerness for evidence, here are the videos that ought to be e-mailed to the Ministry of Education and the respective schools involved in these incidents.
Here you go: -
Toa Payoh Secondary School Catfights
Northland Secondary School Classroom Fights
.. and if that's not enough, here's another one from a primary school in my assumption, as the students look young and undeveloped.
Unknown Local School Fights and Bullying
Is this what the Ministry of Education want to see from these students? Is this what their parents want to see in their children's behaviour?
After so much of complains made to schools being harsh to students by caning or wacking them, these are what their parents will see as a result of their own children's misbehaviour.
What is the purpose of a school? It's not a homework factory, or an examination ground mind you. It's a place to also nurture students and disciplining them whenever necessary. It's like a babysitting organization while the parents are away working their heart out to pay for their children's education.
You can't blame all these on the teachers if the parents themselves won't cooperate by disciplining their children the right way at home. Teachers are there to guide the students on their academic paths and to instill important values of life into them. Ultimately, the parents are the ones who should be teaching their children the right things.
Then again, I would still like to stress one thing to ALL parents in Singapore. If you're happily married, good for you. But if you want to have children for the sake of having them, DON'T! Don't bother having children if you can't afford to teach them well or bring them up correctly. Don't bother bringing up children if you yourselves are the bad influence in the household and the people around you. Don't even bother having children when your parents and relatives have to force you to have one. All these things will do you no good.
As for the Ministry of Education, I think you dudes over there should think twice when allowing the ban of canings in certain schools. Because when we spare the rod, we'll spoil the child. Spoil the child, and we'll ruin our future.
And MOE, for Christ's sake, you call yourself an organization which provides first-class education? There's still room for improvements unfortunately. Talk is cheap! How cheap are you? And how cheap is that?
July 09, 2006
In about 3 days' time, I'll be handing up my offer of acceptance to Monash University and will be preparing myself for another phase of my life once again. This is the phase of great change and opportunity for my long-awaited academic breakthrough.
And since I'm matriculating this coming week, I'll be sort of away for a period of time and will be pretty busy settling my stuffs in school. Speaking about blogging, I'll write whenever I have the time and the state of mind to do so. Meanwhile, a lot of things have been catching up on me.
Time is really flying by quickly and I somehow can't bear leaving those wonderful times I had for the past two years. In just a blink of an eye, those valuable times I had with myself and people around me were gone. Though there're ups and downs during the 04s and 05s, those moments are times I learned my more valuable lessons.
1. If you're sick, look after your body. Be picky about your food and know what you eat. Moderate your diet. Too much is bad, too little is worse.
2. If you want to date a girl, make sure you are first a man. No man behaves or talks like a wimp in front of a girl expecting a date in return. Been there; done that. And it's not very pretty for me. I've grown up.. finally.
3. If you think that people around you actually care about you, think twice. Some may be genuinely sincere, some sought to destroy you once they start to feel that you owe them a living, while some will just hover around you whenever they need anything from you.
4. Friends are hard to come by. This term "friend" is so commercialized and superficial that many have abused its true meaning. True friends are those who share your visions and help you succeed in achieving them. I'm still searching for that FRIEND in this physical realm.
5. Internet relationship is the hardest relationship to ever work out in reality. There're too many barriers, conditions and characteristics to consider in order for both parties to ever want to start the whole thing going. 'Cos once the engine starts, stopping it will result in a break-down explosion. Been there; done that. Wasn't very pretty either.
6. Winners are remembered for their names. Losers are remembered for their mistakes. But all in all, people only remember who the winner is. Hence, be a winner and develop a winsome attitude and character.
7. Extroverts are people who will invite attentions. Introverts will be passed on by like there's no tomorrow. But I'm neither now. I perfer to speak when there's a need to, and when the time is right.
There're many more lessons still to come and I believe God will be guiding me through all this. I'm not afraid of what will become of me in the future already.
Not like before, when I was scared and uncertain.
Not like before, when I was rejected and defeated by my own immaturity.
I've become stronger, wiser and more willing to take on a higher responsibility over my health, my future and my relationships.
Also, I've finally made a decision to further study and God has granted my desire. Although I know very well, that private institutions are only out there to make money out of an average student such as yours truly, I'd still cherish this blessing of such great opportunity to further study and to forge a bright future for myself and my decendants.
I have a vision to date. But I'll not be revealing it here.
July 01, 2006
Indeed, the most brainless rule ever created exists here in Singapore island. And the rule started taking its effect today. For the locals, they definitely know what I'm talking about. As for the rest who still have no idea, well, let me fill you in.
For ages, people here were allowed to smoke or light their cigarettes in public eateries such as the hawker centres, food courts and neighbourhood coffee shops. However, this activity was slowly becoming history when this new set of rules took over today.
Now, even in the once smoking area of any eateries, only 10% of the seats are specially marked out for smokers to thrive in. These are places with some sort of "yellow box" (meaning - smokers' corner), which allow desperate smokers to take some puffs.
At first, I was pretty excited about this new rule.. thinking that there'll be less irritations for us non-smokers and we'll be spared from second-hand smoke. People with sickness or recuperating from illnesses can now roam freely in these public eateries without walking into such harmful zones and inconsiderate people.
But on second thought, this rule is stupid. They should've given some thought about the wind direction, which would carry the second-hand smoke over to those unsuspecting non-smokers. So, in conclusion, this won't make any difference, but the only benefit is for the government to collect even more fines from smokers who break the rules from now on. In short, this is one of those money-making schemes our government uses to control the behaviour of Singaporeans, as if they are not considerate enough - which is unfortunately, most of the time, true.
I find smokers very inconsiderate, especially to the people around them. It would be courteous enough to ask permission on whether lighting their cigarettes or smoking publicly is offensive to other non-smokers nearby. All in all, it's VERY unhealthy to smoke. These people just don't know how to look after their health. It's either they're ignorant or lazy to kick the habit of smoking.
Addictions can be cured. It's all in the mind. Habits are formed out of constant practices. Practices come about with a start of an action. So, my suggestion is, don't let bad habits become part of your lifestyle. It will affect your character negatively and will eventually ruin you.
Thus, I wish that one day, smoking will be banned. I'm serious. If ever I have the power to change any rules in Singapore, it has to be the ban of smoking. Like it or not, it is still for a better cause in creating a smoke-free environment and a healthier lifestyle, even though, given all those gas and diesels coming out of vehicles these days... Let's not make the situation any worser.
