December 27, 2005
1. You start complaining about every single thing you can ever find fault with.
2. You have been into a physical fight at Orchard Road whenever there's festive celebration like Christmas and New Year.. etc.
3. You want to win in everything you are involved in.
4. You want to be the first in everything you do, except dying.
5. You are sitting with a stranger on a public transport then start to shift to another empty seat when it's available.
6. You sleep on every public transport rides.
7. You pretend to sleep while on the buses, trains etc..
8. You subconsciously know that the next word after the end of the sentence is going to be a "lar".
9. You start dicussing what's for dinner at lunch.
10. You won�t raise your voice to protest policies, but you�ll in fact raise your fists to whack someone over Hello Kitty.
11. You'll forever be talking about going against a system you're against, but never go about doing it.
12. You'll complain about the government, but whenever the government introduces an incentive, you keep quiet.
13. You started trying to speak proper mandarin whenever there's a "Speak Mandarin Campaign", and after every thing, it's back to *
rojak.
14. You try real hard to speak like a foreigner (westerners especially), when having a usual conversation with them.
15. You remembered how to sing the National Anthem ONLY when you were back in your school days, and later forget about the lyrics once you graduated from high school.
16. You don't know 90% of your relatives whom you vist during Chinese New Year.
17. You marry because of incentives.
18. You have kids also because of incentives.
19. You will only queue whenever there's a free gift.
20. You are too impatient to wait in a queue and sometimes curse and swear for nothing.
21. You think that marriage is a process of throwing a large banquest in a Chinese restaurant and the rest is history, plus... the 'baby factory' your parents are concern about.
22. You tried your best not to laugh when watching a comedy show on TV Mobile.
23. You think that laughing out loud is a taboo on buses.
24. You are afraid of people looking at what you are doing.
25. You are easily embarassed.
26. You are quick to criticise and slow to admit.
27. You put your child in the nearest school as possible to cut costs.
28. You force your children to take ballet lessons, but pray they won�t wind up in Arts later on.
29. You suddenly realize you�re very interested in Biotech - just like you suddenly realized three years ago that you were very interested in E-commerce, and before that, Engineering, and before that, Medicine and Law.
30. If you're a guy, you'll get together with your guy friends and talk about your army days.
31. If you're a guy, you'll also whine to your guy friends about your previous rejection from the girl you are courting for over the past one year.
32. If you're a girl, you'll get together with your girl friends and shop around town only to end up in bars and pubs later in the evening.
33. If you're a girl, you'll get together with your girl friends only to talk about recent losers with strange manners who tried to court you with a lame pick up line.
34. If you're a guy, you'll watch soccer every time it's on TV and neglect your girlfriends.
35. If you're a girl, you'll hate your guys for watching soccer every time it's on TV.
36. If you're a local football fan, you'll never support Southampton, cos it sucks.
37. You need campaigns to tell you how to be courteous, to be considerate, to flush the toilets, to have sex, etc.
38. You have eaten at the Esplanade more than you�ve actually seen the plays there.
39. You'd feel hungry in the middle of the night and drive your way out for supper miles away from home.
40. Your children speak more singlish than his/her mother tongue.
41. You eat in hotels rather than staying there for a night.
42. When you quarrel with your spouse, the next destination is your parents' house, seldom the hotels.
43. You'd eat at the airport more times than you fly out of the country.
44. Your tummy starts to grow after the 'Big 3'.
45. If you�re pregnant, you have the strange ability to make people on the MRT fall asleep instantly.
46. You�ll rather spend $80,000 on a car, but will go to great efforts to save a few bucks on E.R.P. charges or even a few cents on a parking coupon. (look whose cheap here..)
47. You think that working at fast food restaurants are for the elderly and retirees.
48. You pronounce the letter �R� as �Ah-rer� and the letter �H� as �hey-ch�.
49. Instead of pronouncing the Chinese word "Zhe Bian", it becomes "Je ben".
50. When you explain things to people, you keep using alphabets and speaking in point form.
51. You reserve a seat or table by placing a packet of tissues on the chair or table respectively at lunch time.
52. You'll never stop blaming the government for a slightest mishap that has ever happened to you.
53. You know your hawker centre stalls at the back of your fingertips.
54. You�d rather drink your own pee than pay someone a little more for water.
55. You'd rather spend your penny on a drink than to give it to the charities on the streets.
56. You secretly find that the best part of the "Speak Good English Campaign" is hearing the Singlish bits in their ads.
57. During elections, you decide that there is no credible opposition even though you don�t know the name of the opposition candidate in your constituency.
58. During elections, you'd rather vote for the sake of incentives, than the capability of the government.
59. You forgot how to say the Singapore pledge.
60. You felt that you should be born somewhere outside of Singapore.
61. You have an automatic sensor in your head which generalize people you meet into stayer & quitter, cosmopolitan & heartlander, normal & express & gifted, winner & loser etc.
62. You'll never make friends with people who are of lower class than you.
63. You'll criticize or make fun of any non-local customs, systems or behaviours when overseas.
64. You'll behave the same way you are as Singaporeans when travelling overseas thinking that you are always right, and having the "Customers are always right" attitude.
65. You felt disgraced as a fellow Singaporean.
* rojak = A malay dish which contains lots of meat vegetables mixed together. It's another word refering to languages or things that are in a complicated mixture. In this case, rojak refers to singlish or singese.
